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Premiered: Friday, February 23, 2001

Episode Transcript [Closed Captioning][]

H     O     o     K     y

storyboard director

Sherm Cohen

storyboard artist

Vincent Waller

written by

Sherm Cohen

Vincent Waller

Merriwether Williams

animation director

Edgar Larrazabal

creative director

Derek Drymon

special guest appearance by

John Lurie

&

Jim Jarmusch

                               Narrator

Fishermen have quite an effect

on our undersea friends.

SUBURBAN

SOFT

                       SQUIDWARD:

SpongeBob, have you finished

           swabbing the deck?

T  H  E

K  R  u  S  T  y

K  R  a  B

ENTER

Almost. There’s a nasty barnacle

           under table nine.

                       They’re back!

They’re back, I tell you!

I saw them with me own eyes!

( all muttering )

The hooks! The hooks!

How about a mint?

KRABS:

The hooks!

The hooks!

Can you make that to go?

You don’t know

how lucky you are.

The hooks!

So there I was,

minding my own business…

I’d love to hear

another of your

riveting sea tales,

but, um…

I have to do

my wastebasket

inspections.

Uh-huh… mm-hmm… oh, yeah,

                       there’s one.

OR  D E R

H  E  R  E

           Fine! Don’t say

I didn’t warn you.

Warn him about what, Mr. Krabs?

The hooks, me bucko.

They’re back.

They’re back.

Beware the hooks.

The hooks?

The hooks?

The hooks?

Aye, the hooks.

They dangle down

and draw you close

with their

pleasing shapes

and their

beguiling colors.

And just when you think you

found the land of milk and honey

And just when you think you

found the land of milk and honey

And just when you think you

found the land of milk and honey

they grab you by the britches

and haul you way up high!

Then higher,

and higher,

and higher!

until you’re hauled

up to the surface

flopping and gasping

for breath.

And then they cook you

and then they eat you!

Or worse…

what could be worse than that?!

Gift shops.

STAR

FISH

$1.25

BAJA CALIFORNIA

ASSORTED

SHELLS

$1.50

( gasps )

Don’t let it get me, Mr. Krabs.

Don’t let it get me, Mr. Krabs.

There, there, boy,

they won’t get you.

Not as long as you listen

to old Mr. Krabs.

Now get back

to the kitchen!

Aye-aye, Mr. Krabs!

Aye-aye, Mr. Krabs!

Aye-aye, Mr. Krabs!

Aye-aye, Mr. Krabs!

Aye-aye, Mr. Krabs!

Aye-aye, Mr. Krabs!

Good morning,

Krusty crew!

Good morning,

Krusty crew!

Hey, Patrick.

Guess what?

The carnival’s in town.

Come on, let’s go.

I can’t leave now.

I’m working.

It’s not leaving.

You’re just

taking a break.

You’re just

taking a break.

♪ We’re going to the carnival,

going to the carniv… oof! ♪

♪ We’re going to the carnival,

going to the carnival. ♪

There it is, SpongeBob.

The carnival is

back in town!

I’m going to be first in line

for everything!

I’m going to be first in line

for everything!

Where is

everybody?

I don’t know.

There was one kid

here earlier.

Doesn’t look like

any carnival I ever…

( clink )

            Oh!

( clink )

            Oh!

( clink )

            Oh!

( clink )

            Oh!

( clink )

            Oh!

( clink )

            Oh!

Excuse me.

( gasps )

Stop, Patrick!

Don’t touch it.

Stop, Patrick!

Don’t touch it.

This isn’t the carnival.

This isn’t the carnival.

Those are hooks!

                       Mr. Krabs says

they’re really dangerous!

Hmm…

Hmm…

Hmm…

Hmm…

Hmm…

Hmm…

Hmm…

I sense no danger here.

How could they be dangerous?

           They’re covered

with free cheese!

All I know is, Mr. Krabs said…

                                  Patrick!

Don’t do that!

Mmm…

Mmm…

Mmm…

Mmm…

Mmm…

Mmm…

Mmm…

Mmm…

Cheesy.

Cheesy.

Cheesy.

No danger here.

Go on, try it.

But Mr. Krabs said…

SpongeBob, let me

ask you something.

Does this look dangerous?

( screams )

Patrick! don’t!

Lighten up, will you?

Or do I have to eat

all this cheese by mysel…

Or do I have to eat

all this cheese by mysel…

Whoa, ho, ho…!

Whoa, ho, ho…!

( gasps )

Patrick!

Help! Oh, Patrick! help!

Oh, Patrick, come back!

Oh, Patrick, come back!

Oh, Patrick, come back!

Oh, Patrick, come back!

Oh, my best friend!

( laughing )

( laughing )

( laughing )

( laughing )

( crying )

( crying )

( crying )

( grunts )

( grunts )

( grunts )

Patrick… you’re alive!

Am I ever!

You should try it.

But what about the surface…

and your britches…

and the gift shops?

You just jump off

before you go up

too high.

Mr. Krabs said I shouldn’t

go near those things.

Mr. Krabs said I shouldn’t

go near those things.

Did he say you

shouldn’t climb

on top of them

and ride them

like a horsy?

Well, no.

Whee…

I guess he didn’t!

( both laughing )

( both laughing )

( both laughing )

( both laughing )

Hi-ho, silverfish!

away!

( laughing )

( laughing )

( laughing )

Ready?

Ready.

            BOTH:

Geronimo!

( laughing and whooping )

This is more fun

than double overtime

at the Krusty Krab!

CUSTOMER:

           Phew!

You call this food?

My sandwich tastes

like a fried boot.

My sandwich is

a fried boot!

Hurry it up,

will you!

We’re hungry

over here.

Look at us!

( customers muttering angrily )

( customers muttering angrily )

( customers muttering angrily )

( customers muttering angrily )

That’s not how you’re

supposed to flip it!

That’s not how you’re

supposed to flip it!

That’s not how you’re

supposed to flip it!

That’s not how you’re

supposed to flip it!

( all talking at once )

( all talking at once )

( all talking at once )

( all talking at once )

Why do you want to

eat this stuff anyway?

KRABS:

Mr. Squidward!

What the halibut’s

going on in here?

It’s a feeding

frenzy, sir

and SpongeBob’s not

back from his break.

( laughing )

( laughing )

( laughing )

( laughing )

( laughing )

( laughing )

( laughing )

( laughing )

( laughing )

( laughing )

What?

I thought you said

SpongeBob was

taking a break.

No one’s taken a break

at the Krusty Krab

since the chum famine

of ‘59. ( laughs )

Now, what were you saying?

He took… a break.

All right, SpongeBob Lazypants,

                      I’ll find you.

GALLEy GRuB

ORDER

HERE

This nose can smell laziness

for up to 10,000 leagues. aha!

GALLEy GRuB

ORDER

HERE

This nose can smell laziness

for up to 10,000 leagues. aha!

GALLEy GRuB

ORDER

HERE

I’ll give you a break

you’ll not soon forget.

GALLEy GRuB

            But Mr. Krabs,

I still need help…!

GALLEy GRuB

( sniffing )

( sniffing )

( sniffing )

( sniffing )

They should be right here.

( both laughing )

Again?

Again!

The hooks! no, no, no!

                       BOTH:

One, two, three…

Wait, wait!

Oof!

Boys!

Boys!

I wasn’t quick enough.

They’re gone! ( sobs )

            If I could only hold him

in me arms again, I, I’d…

( laughing )

( laughing )

( laughing )

( laughing )

( laughing )

( laughing )

I’d throttle them!

What did I tell you

about those hooks, boy?

I, uh, I…

I’ll tell you

about the hooks.

You ride them up

and up and up…

then you gently float

down.

And do you know

what happens

when you don’t

float back down?

Gift shop?

Worse! you end up

vacuum-packed…

in a can of tuna!

With nothing

to look forward to

T        U          N         A

With nothing

to look forward to

but the smell of mayonnaise!

( scream )

M       A      Y     O

Aah!

                      BOTH:

We’re sorry, Mr. Krabs.

I want you boys

to promise me

you’ll never go

on those hooks again.

                      BOTH:

We promise, Mr. Krabs.

I need a sailor’s promise!

Repeat after me.

Repeat after me.

Repeat after me.

Yo-ho, yo-ho,

near the hooks I’ll never go.

BOTH:

Yo-ho, yo-ho

near the hooks

we’ll never go.

near the hooks

we’ll never go.

Aah! Mother of pearl!

⭐                                  ⭐

Fire on the poop deck!

                      BOTH:

Aah! Mother of pearl!

Fire on the poop deck!

Well… whew!

All right, then.

Let’s get out of

this deathtrap.

                      SPONGEBOB:

Okay, Gary, today is a new day.

I’m ready to prove myself

           loyal to Mr. Krabs.

( Gary meows )

( Gary meows )

( Gary meows )

I’m ready!

I’m ready!

♪ I’m ready, I’m ready,

I’m ready, I’m ready ♪

♪ I’m ready, ready, ready,

                      I’m ready… ♪

♪ I’m ready, ready, ready,

                      I’m ready… ♪

Hey, SpongeBob!

You’re going the wrong way!

( grunts )

I always go to work this way.

I always go to work this way.

You’re not going

to work today.

We’re going to

go play…

We’re going to

go play…

hooky!

hooky!

But Patrick,

we promised.

I had my fingers crossed.

You don’t have fingers.

You don’t have fingers.

Well, that Mr. Krabs

is just a big dummy.

We played

on those hooks

all day long

and nothing

happened to us.

But Mr. Krabs said…

But Mr. Krabs said…

Look, SpongeBob.

Are you going to

listen to a big dummy

or are you going to

           listen to me?

Um…

See you later,

SpongeBob.

I’m going to go have some fun.

Whoo-hoo!

Come on, SpongeBob!

Whoo-hoo!

You know

you want to…

Oh… I know I want to

           but I promised Mr. Krabs

I wouldn’t go near another…

                       aah, hook!

Oh, no. Mr. Krabs

told me all about you.

You are a liar,

a deceiver!

I’ll never fall

for your tricks again!

Never!

Is this seat taken?

           Whoo…

( laughing )

( giggling )

Hoo, glad I got that

out of my system.

( gasps )

I’m… hooked.

And that means…

T       U        N      A

( screams )

Help! I’m hooked! Help!

Mr. Krabs, help!

It happened! I’m hooked!

Oh, no, the hook, the hook!

Gift shop! Tuna can!

Mayonnaise!

                       KRABS:

Here you go, Pearl.

T  H  E

K  R  u  S  T  y

K  R  a  B

ENTER

Free water for all

your little friends.

Thanks, Dad.

Just don’t forget to leave a tip

           for old, Mr. Krabs.

Psst! Mr. Krabs…

           SpongeBob!

You’re two minutes late!

GALLEY     GRUB

ORDER

HERE

What kept you, laddie?

           Um, you know those hooks

we were talking about yesterday?

           Didn’t I tell you

not to go near those hooks?

GALLEY    GRUB

ORDER

HERE

Um… no.

GALLEY     GRUB        ORDER

                                        HERE

Er…! I mean yes, yes,

you told me not to go near them!

GALLEY     GRUB

Well, you weren’t playing on

those hooks, were you, laddie?

GALLEY     GRUB

Of course not…

Er, I mean, not exactly.

Er, I mean, yes! yes, I did it!

I admit it!

( crying )

( crying )

( crying )

( crying )

( crying )

GALLEY     GRUB

Oh, Mr. Krabs,

I’m so ashamed!

GALLEY     GRUB

I mean, look at me!

I’m hooked…!

Hmm, it’s in there pretty deep.

GALLEY     GRUB

What am I going to do?

There’s only one thing

                          to do, boy.

GALLEY GRUB

ORDER

HERE

P

( all laughing )

GALLEY GRUB

ORDER

HERE

P

Oh, no, Mr. Krabs.

I can’t take off my pants.

Not in front of all these…

                                  girls.

( reeling )

( gasps )

Oh, okay, I’m taking them off.

           I’m taking them off.

( rips ) There.

Uh, lad.

GALLEY     GRUB

( girls laughing )

( girls laughing )

( screams )

Oh, no, oh, no.

No, no, no, Mr. Krabs.

           I can’t do it!

Anything but that.

I understand.

You were a good little

fry cook, SpongeBob.

H          E              L             P

W                  a      n        t        e            d

( gasps )

But we’ll find another.

H   E     L     P

W      a   n  t   e     d

Hopefully, one that will

listen to old Mr. Krabs.

H   E     L     P

W      a   n  t   e     d

           Oh, Mr. Krabs,

I’ll listen, I promise!

Whoa, whoa…!

Please save me, Mr. Krabs!

( crying )

I promise I’ll be good!

Hoo!

( grunts )

                       ALL:

Oh, look… ( giggling )

                                  PEARL:

It’s SpongeBob Nudiepants.

                                  PEARL:

It’s SpongeBob Nudiepants.

( screams )

( all laughing )

GALLEY  GRUB

ORDER


HERE


P

Well, that was more of SpongeBob

than I needed to see.

Mr. Squidward, that

was some fine angling.

Do you think the lad

has learned his lesson?

Do you think the lad

has learned his lesson?

THE

KRuSTy

KRAB

                    SQUIDWARD:

Oh, I think he’ll remember this

           for a long time.

I know I will.

THE

KRuSTy

KRAB

The pants!

The underwear!

( both laughing )

T    U   N    A

                       PATRICK:

Hello? Does somebody

have a can opener?

  • Home Video Releases:

SpongeBob SquarePants: Sea Stories VHS & DVD (November 5th, 2002)

SpongeBob SquarePants: The Complete 1st Season DVD Disc 3 (October 28th, 2003)

SpongeBob SquarePants: The First 100 Episodes DVD Disc 3 (Season 1) (September 22nd, 2009)

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