Premiered: Saturday, April 14, 2001
Episode Transcript [Closed Captioning][]
No FRee
RiDeS
directed by
Aaron Springer
storyboard artist
C.H. Greenblatt
written by
Aaron Springer
C.H. Greenblatt
Mr. Lawrence
animation director
Tom Yasumi
creative director
Derek Drymon
NARRATOR:
Here we are again at the
Bikini Bottom Boating School.
MRS. PuFF’S
BOATiNG
SCHOOL
MRS. PuFF’S
BOATiNG
SCHOOL
WALL
Today is once again the day of
SpongeBob’s boating school exam
but more importantly, this is
the last test for the year
and if SpongeBob does not
pass this one
it means another whole year
of boating school!
( crash, glass breaks )
( crash, glass breaks )
( groaning )
Wha’ happen?
Oh, nothing, SpongeBob.
You just struck
another pedestrian.
Minus 20 more points.
How many do I have?
Negative 224.
Negative 224.
How many more minutes
left in the test?
The test is over.
That’s enough time!
I can make up
those points!
No… SpongeBob!
Wait! You didn’t hear me
( screams )
It’s too late! SpongeBob!
( coughing )
Okay, Mrs. Puff,
what’s my final score?
Six.
Whoo!
And how many
do I need to pass?
Six.
Ooh…
Hundred.
Wha…?
Six hundred.
You need 600 to pass.
You got six.
Don’t worry.
I’ll be all right, Mrs. Puff.
Besides…
This means I get to
be in your class
for a whole
‘nother year!
Well, see you
next Tuesday.
Yeah!
MRS PuFF’S
BoaTiNG
SCHOoL
♪ I’m gonna get
my driver’s license ♪
♪ and it’s only gonna take
one more year, one more year ♪
PuFF’S
BoaTiNG
SCHOoL
♪ One more super-duper year ♪
♪ One more super-spectacular ♪
♪ extra-magical,
extra-fantastical year… ♪
( thinking ):
Oh, Neptune.
Another year with him!
Barnacles!
Dirty barnacles!
I’ve got to do something
to save myself.
Oh… there’s only one way out.
A teacher’s ace in the hole.
Extra credit!
What was that, Mrs. Puff?
Extra credit, SpongeBob.
Extra credit, SpongeBob.
The extra credit.
( laughing wildly )
I still have a chance.
I, I mean,
you still have a chance.
What’s extra credit?
It’s when you get credit
for the things you weren’t
able to do before.
♪ Oh… ♪
Mrs. Puff’s
BOATiNG
SChoOL
Now, are we ready
for that extra credit?
Extra credit!
That’s the spirit.
That’s the spirit.
So, all you have to do
to earn your extra credit
and pass my class
and never have to come
anywhere near this school again
is write a ten-word sentence
on what you’ve learned
in boating school.
But I’ve learned so many things.
Just pick one,
I don’t care which.
Here, I’ll help you
get started.
“What I learned
in boating school is…”
There! That’s already
seven words!
Only three more!
L-E-A-R…
( pencil breaks )
Oh, barnacles!
WHAT I
LEAR
What’s wrong?
Got to sharpen my pencil.
WHAT I
LEAR
( whistling )
Hmm…
( humming )
Hmm?
( singing )
N-E…
( pencil snaps )
Oh!
( whistling )
Give me that!
Here’s a pen.
Give me that!
Here’s a pen.
A pen! One of the most permanent
of all writing utensils.
♪ Gonna write an essay ♪
♪ That’s what I say. ♪
There.
Fantastic! Let me see it.
No, wait, I changed my mind!
I’m sure it’s fine.
Just let me see.
No, don’t look!
It’s not ready.
It’s so simple!
Only ten words!
“What I learned
in boating school is…”
Blankety… blankety… blank!
I can do this. I can do this!
“What I learned
in boating school is…”
“What I learned
in boating school is…!”
I can do this, I can do this!
Aah, aah… is it hot
in here, Mrs. Puff?!
Why is it so hot in here?!
Aah! My hand!
My hand is cramping, Mrs. Puff!
Make it stop!
You only need
three… more…
words!
( grunts )
Okay, let me see
what you’ve written.
It’s not ready yet.
That’s okay, SpongeBob.
Show the teacher
what you’ve written.
No!
Give it to me!
No!
Let me see it!
“What I learned
in boating school is…”
“What I learned
in boating school is…”
Uh…
WHat i LEaRnEd
iN BoATiNG
SchooL is how
🚣🚣🚣🚣🚣🚣🚣 dRiVe
🚣🚣🚣🚣🚣🚣🚣
🚣🚣🚣🚣
🧽🧽🧽🧽🧽🧽🧽 🪼🪼🪼🪼
🧽🧽🧽🧽🧽🧽🧽 🪼🪼🪼🪼
🧽🧽🧽🧽🧽🧽🧽 🪼🪼🪼🪼
🧽 🧽 🪼🪼🪼
🧽 🧽 🪼🪼🪼
Pat 🪼🪼🪼
Well, the rest doesn’t matter.
Well, the rest doesn’t matter.
You pass! ( laughs )
You pass!
Mrs. Puff, I don’t feel
like I really did anything.
That’s how extra credit
is supposed to feel.
Really?
Besides, here’s
your license.
Besides, here’s
your license.
BIKINI BOTTOM
DRIVER LICENSE CLASS: S
EXPIRES: 12-14-03 A1356021
SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS
124 CONCH ST.
BIKINI BOTTOM
SEX: M HAIR: YELLOW EYES: BLU
HT: 0-04 WT: 1oz DOB:07-14-86
SpongeBob SquarePants
My license!
It tastes just like
I dreamt it would.
Mrs. Puff, I…
Thank you, SpongeBob.
Congratulations.
Have a nice life.
Look out, Bikini Bottom!
There’s a new driver
on the road
and his name is…
SpongeBob SquarePants!
( echoes ):
SpongeBob SquarePants!
SpongeBob SquarePants!
♪ La, la, la, la, la, la, la ♪
♪ La, la, la, la,
la, la, la… ♪
Aah!
Ooh, ow…!
♪ La, la, la, la,
la, la, la… ♪
Ouch.
ALL:
Happy birthday!
♪ La, la, la, la, la, la, la. ♪
( thumping and grunting )
So much destruction.
LiVE
This reporter asks why.
Local consensus places the blame
on this negligent,
selfish driving instructor
who… oh!
♪ La, la, la, la,
la, la, la… ♪
Let’s… not… use that take.
That’s preposterous.
He did the extra credit.
( laughs nervously )
There’s no need to worry.
He doesn’t even have
a boat to drive.
Now to go home and have
the rest of that pasta.
( chuckles )
Aah!
ALL:
Surprise!
ALL:
Surprise!
THANk YoU
MRS. PUFF!
To the greatest
teacher ever!
Thank you,
Mrs. Puff.
I know I speak
for everyone
when I say that
we consider you
a member of
the SquarePants family.
( kissing )
( kissing )
I think you’ve made
your point, dear.
THANk YoU
MRS. PUFF!
Ahem.
Mrs. Puff, we were
starting to think
THANk YoU
MRS. PUFF!
SpongeBob was
never going to
get his license.
But you never
gave up on him.
You never quit.
You never took
the easy way out.
Well, I, uh… okay.
We wanted to make sure
Mrs. Puff--
the greatest driving
teacher in the world--
THANk YoU
MRS. PUFF!
the greatest driving
teacher in the world--
was here to see this.
See what?
Ta-da!
BURM
“I-M R-DY.”
WSL L67 IV Gh
iM - RDY
B ikiNi BoTTOM
BOTH:
A brand new boatmobile?!
For me…?
Oh…
TH
M
Don’t worry, Mrs. Puff.
He’ll be driving by tomorrow!
Toodle-oo!
What have I done?
Everyone will know
that I let him slide
through school.
I’ll have to move
to a new city
start a new boating school
with a new name.
No… not again.
I’ve got to end this thing
before it begins.
( crickets chirping )
You took quite
a buster there, son.
What I learned
in boating school today is…!
We’re going to have to
hold off
on the driving there
for a while, son.
That’s right, honey.
Now, just stay in bed.
And no going
near the boat.
( door closes )
Hi, Boaty.
( squeaks )
( gasps )
Boaty, you’re cold!
Take my socks.
Oh, Boaty, I’m always
going to take care of you.
You’re the best boat
in the deep blue sea.
( kisses )
( sighs )
( rattling )
( rattling )
I hope I still remember
how to do this.
Yeah…
( starts engine )
( SpongeBob snoring )
( SpongeBob snoring )
Hey, I’m driving!
( both scream )
( grunting )
Who are you and what
are you doing in my boat?
And why are you wearing
that ski mask?!
Because you’re not skiing!
Oh, my gosh, I know who you are!
No, you don’t!
You don’t know who I am.
Yes, I do!
I know that you’re…
a boatjacker!
I never thought I’d have to
use this pepper spray.
( screams )
Somebody help me!
Somebody help me…!
Sorry, SpongeBob, but
it was for your own good.
( panting )
Give me back my boat!
( panting )
( panting )
( panting )
Ay… yi… yi…!
You’d better stop this boat!
( grunts )
( grunts )
I’m… not… letting… go!
Nothing will stop me!
Not even… ( gasps )
Giant clams?!
GiANT
CLAMS
🦪
( snapping and yelling )
I’m… not… letting go…
even for… ( gasps )
Cheese graters?! No!
Cheese graters?! No!
CHEESE
GRATERS!!
🧀
Ouch… no… no… no…
ow… oh… oh…
If… you think I’ll let go
for a little…
Educational television?!
Educational television?!
Oh, no!
( screams )
Looks like that
got rid of him.
Now for some tunes.
( static )
And now back to KRUD
with all of your personal
“You won’t get away with
stealing my car!” hits.
( screaming )
( grunting,
tires squealing )
( grunting,
tires squealing )
ACCiDENTE?
555 — 1234
⭐
Hey, look.
SUPER
⭐
COP
( engine revs )
( both screaming )
⭐
( both screaming )
SUPER
⭐
COP
Oof, oof…
ACCiDENTES?
CALL
555—1234
⭐
Argh!
I’d never let you
have this boat.
⭐ ⭐
Not even if you were…
( gasps )
Mrs. Puff?
( flapping lips )
( engine revs )
ACCiDENTE?
555 — 1234
⭐
( siren wails )
So, how’s it going, Mrs. Puff?
Uh, SpongeBob.
I’d like to… apologize.
I shouldn’t have passed you.
You really weren’t ready.
So, I guess I got to give
my license back, huh?
I hear Mrs. Flounder is starting
a new class Monday morning.
You kidding? You’re the only
teacher for this student.
And besides, the warden says
she’ll let you go early
if you do her a favor.
What’s that?
Free driving lessons!
( laughing )
Bikini Bottom
JAiL
- Home Video Releases
SpongeBob SquarePants: Sea Stories DVD (November 5th, 2002)
SpongeBob SquarePants: The Complete 2nd Season DVD (Disc 2) (October 5th, 2004)
SpongeBob SquarePants: The Complete 2nd Season DVD (Disc 2) (October 19th, 2004)
SpongeBob SquarePants: The First 100 Episodes DVD Disc 4 (Season 2) (September 22nd, 2009)