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Premiered: Saturday, August 21, 1999

Episode Transcript [Closed Captioning][]

P            i            c            k            L            e            s

storyboard director

Steve Fonti

storyboard artists

Chris Mitchell

Jay Lender

written by

Steve Fonti

Chris Mitchell

Pete r Burns

animation director

Tom Yasumi

creative director

Derek Drymon

THE

KRuSTy

KRaB

ENTER

Welcome to the Krusty Krab.

My name is Squidward.

Can I take your order?

Hmm, oh, I’ll have a…

G    A    L    L    E    Y         G    R    U    B

KRaBBY       PATTIE … 2  0  0

KRUSTY       COMBO   3  9  9

KRUSTY     DELUXE … 3  0  0

Sides

SeaWeed      Salad … 150

Cora  l        Bits …..… 195

No.

Oh, maybe…

No.

Hmm, I’ll have…

No. Well, maybe…

Are you planning

on ordering today, sir?

I’ll have a Krabby pattie.

How original.

And with extra onions.

Daring today, aren’t we.

One Krabby pattie,

           extra onions.

One Krabby pattie,

           extra onions.

One Crying Johnny coming up.

One Crying Johnny coming up.

One Crying Johnny coming up.

            First bun, then pattie,

followed by ketchup,  mustard

pickles, extra onions, lettuce,

           cheese, tomatoes and bun

in that order.

in that order.

One Crying Johnny up!

Whatever.

12 Krabby patties on wheat buns.

( SpongeBob repeating quickly: )

Bun, Krabby pattie, bun.

One dozen crying cows

on the farm.

Up!

Thanks, Farmer Brown.

It’s been a thrill serving you.

Can I get some extra salt?

We’re all out.

Could you check?

No.

No.

Let me guess, Tiny

a small salad?

G  A  L  L  E  Y

I take a double triple barfy

           deluxe on a raft.

Four-by-four,

animal style.

Extra shingles

with a shimmy

and a squeeze.

Light axle grease, make it cry.

Burn it and let it swim.

We serve food here.

I got it already, Squidward.

( gasping: )

Bubble Bath.

Squarepants.

I hear talk

you make a mean

Krabby pattie.

Yep!

I hear talk

you’re kind of picky.

Yep!

Well, then,

here you go!

( stomping )

( stomping )

( sniffing )

Mm.

Well, Bubble Bath,

what do you think?

This is pretty good.

Only one thing--

You forgot the pickles!

( all gasping )

No!

The best there is?

I don’t think so.

You lose.

You lose.

But the pickles should be

right where they always are.

I know I put them on.

Where are those pickles?

Pickles, pickles, pickles.

Ah!

I believe

you owe me two bucks.

Two bucks!

Your guarantee.

G    A    L    L    E    Y         G    R    U    B

KRaBBY     PATTiE ….   2   0   0

KRuSTY     COMBO ….   3   9   9

KRuSTY     DELUXE ….   3   0   0

Sides

                                         1   5   0

-   m   o   n   e   y    b   a   c   k    g   u   a   r   a   n   t   e   e   -

Oh, that. Well,

can we talk about this?

No.

$        $

How about a discount

on restroom tokens?

Afraid not!

How about a free

glass of water?

A dozen free glasses of water!

I’ll even put ice in it.

No, come back.

$        $

Two dollars, two dollars.

No, no.

Mr. Krabs, I know

I put pickles on

that Krabby pattie.

That two bucks

is coming out of your paycheck.

Wait.

Wait!

Get back to work.

We got orders waiting.

I need a Krabby pattie.

Okay, I am not going

to blow it this time.

Let’s see.

           Bun down, then ketchup,

then mustard, then pickles--

No, that’s not right!

Bun down, mustard, then ketchup,

lettuce, then the pickles--

no.

           Mustard down, bun, oh,

where does the pattie go?

Pickles, ketchup…

Think, think,

I’m losing it.

           Bun down, shoe,

mustard, pan, oh, no.

Mr. Krabs, I am so confused.

I can’t remember

how to do anything.

Why don’t you take

the rest of the day off.

Oh, no, Mr. Krabs.

           Who will make

the Krabby patties?

Oh, don’t worry about that.

We got Squidward.

Huh?

DER

RE

Mr. Krabs is right.

I need to get my head straight.

Now is it bun, pattie, ketchup.

Ah!

The door, the door!

                       Mr. Krabs,

the front door is missing!

Oh.

Oh.

Ha, ha, sorry about that.

This pickle thing has got my

head all messed up.

I better get on home

and rest my brain.

Which way do I live?

Of course.

Ha! Ha!

           No, no, was it

bun, pattie, bun?

Tomato, pickle, bun?

B   u   N ,   B   u   N   ,   P   A   T   T   y

A   T   T   y   ,   P   I   C   k   L   E       B   u   N

B   u   N   ,   P   A   T   T   y   ,   B   u   N

T   O   M   A   T   O   ,   P   I   C   k   L   E   ,   B   u   N

No. Bun, no.

No shoe.

Oh, I am so confused.

Maybe a good night’s sleep will

help me get my head on straight.

Oh, was it mattress, mattress,

sheets, pillow, then SpongeBob.

Oh, think, Sponge.

Oh, yeah, it was mattress,

           SpongeBob, mattress

then sheets, pillow.

Good night, Gary.

Meow.

No, this isn’t right.

Good night, Gary.

Meow.

Wait, this isn’t right, either.

Wait, this isn’t right, either.

Nope.

Negative.

Come on, come on, get it right.

Wrong, wrong.

Wrong!

Nope.

1  2

9                                                 3

6

Naw!

Negatory.

( rooster crowing )

( horn blowing )

( horn blowing )

Oh, I almost had it.

( horn continues to blow )

Come on, clock.

How do I turn this thing off?

Think! Think! Think!

Meow.

Gary.

( horn continues )

( horn continues )

THE

KRuSTY

KRaB

ENTER

( choking )

( bell rings )

Patties are done.

Hey, he burnt

my Krabby pattie.

He burnt my fries.

He burnt my fries.

( slurping )

He burnt my shake.

( muttering angrily )

No, come back.

No, no.

I got to get SpongeBob back.

ORDeR

HERE

SpongeBob?

SpongeBob!

Mr. Krabs, hello.

Do you how do?

Why are you

talking funny, man?

I anything can’t do right

since because pickles.

Nonsense.

           You’ll be back

making Krabby patties

like your old self in no time.

I think don’t

ready back

to go to work,

Mr. Krabs.

Well, you’re fine,

me boy.

( crash )

Ooh, well, maybe not.

All we need to do

is get your confidence back

so you can make me more money.

I mean, patties.

I how do that?

It’s like

riding a bike.

You never forget.

You never forget.

Uh, I’m going

to help you.

You learn to make your

Krabby pattie again

your life

will be back in order.

Mr. Krabs, I don’t know…

take your time.

No, no, no, no.

Hmm…

( snoring )

I got it.

I got it!

It’s all very clear

to me now, Mr. Krabs.

It is?

Yes, I finally realize

that I can’t do it.

I can’t do it, Mr. Krabs.

I’m a failure.

Don’t talk like that!

Don’t you get it,

you crustaceous cheapskate--

I can’t make a double crabby

pattie with the works.

I can’t put a pattie on a bun

with lettuce, cheese, onions

tomatoes, ketchup, mustard,

pickles, and top bun

together in that order!

It’s time.

GALLEy GRuB                    ORDER

                                              HERE

Hey, SpongeBob’s back.

           ALL:

SpongeBob!

I hear Squarepants is back.

I’m right here, Bubble Bath.

I thought I ran you out of town.

I thought I ran you out of town.

This is where I belong.

                             🫧🫧🫧🫧🫧🫧

                            🫧🫧🫧🫧🫧🫧

                           🫧🫧🫧🫧🫧🫧

                          🫧🫧🫧🫧🫧🫧

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🫧🫧🫧🫧🫧🫧   🫧🫧🫧🫧🫧🫧🫧🫧🫧🫧🫧🫧🫧🫧🫧🫧🫧🫧🫧🫧🫧🫧🫧

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🫧🫧🫧🫧🫧   🫧🫧🫧🫧🫧     🫧🫧🫧🫧🫧

🫧🫧🫧🫧🫧   🫧🫧🫧🫧🫧     🫧🫧🫧🫧🫧

        🫧🫧🫧🫧🫧            🫧🫧🫧🫧🫧

( growls )

Roar.

( gasps )

ORDER

HERE

Give me the regular.

And this time,

don’t forget the pickles.

I didn’t.

Mmm…

Mmm…

Still no pickles!

See.

ALL:

Yuck.

You failed again,

SpongeBob Loserpants.

( diabolical laugh )

Wait a minute.

Look.

Look.

He’s been hiding

the pickles

under his tongue

the whole time.

And there’s the pickle

from last time, too.

And there’s my car keys.

And there’s my ride.

Three cheers for the return of

our master Fry Cook, SpongeBob.

  t  h  e

H  E  A  D  S

Hip-hip--

ALL:

hooray!

Hip-hip--

ALL:

hooray!

  t  h  e

H  E  A  D  S

And three cheers

for the fry cook

who took my place

while I was gone--

Squidward.

Hip-hip.

( unenthusiastic response )

Hip-hip.

( unenthusiastic response )

Hip-hip.

THE

KRuSTy

KRaB

ENTER

Boo!

You stink!

  • Home Video Releases

SpongeBob SquarePants: Sea Stories VHS (November 5th, 2002)

SpongeBob SquarePants: Sea Stories DVD (November 5th, 2002)

SpongeBob SquarePants: The Complete 1st Season DVD (Disc 1) (October 28th, 2003)

SpongeBob SquarePants: Volume 2 Game Boy Advance Video (May 12th, 2004)

SpongeBob SquarePants: The First 100 Episodes DVD (Disc 1) (Season 1) (September 22nd, 2009)

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