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Premiered: Friday, September 21, 2001

Episode Transcript [Closed Captioning][]

Sailor

Mouth

♪ Oh, watch out, trigger,

she’s a proper ju-ber-ju ♪

storyboard directors

Walt Dohrn

Paul Tibbitt

storyboard artists

Carson Kugler

William Reiss

Erik Wiese

♪ On a passage

from the Dogger Bank ♪

written by

Walt Dohrn

Paul Tibbitt

Merriwether Williams

♪ To Great Grimsby. ♪

animation director

Andrew Overtoom

creative director

Derek Drymon

( Krabs sighs )

Well, it’s the worst time

of the day once again.

( sadly ):

Closing time.

Well, see you

in the a.m., Mr. Krabs.

Hold on there,

SpongeBob.

Take that pile

of filth out with you.

( gasps )

Mr. Krabs

you shouldn’t talk

about Squidward like that.

He means this filth, you loon.

♪ Mm, taking out the trash,

taking out the trash. ♪

Hmm, dumpster writing!

The voice of the people.

“Up with bubbles,

down with air.”

( laughs )

“Nematodes are people, too.”

Ha, those nematodes.

Here’s one somebody

didn’t finish:

“Squidward smells.”

“Good.”

( laughs )

Hmm, what’s this one?

“Krabs is a…”

Hmm?

“Krabs is a…”

( dolphin chirps )

Do you kiss

your mother

with that mouth?

Well, sometimes,

but not… recently.

PATRICK:

Hi, garbage man.

Hi, SpongeBob.

Hi, Patrick.

Hey, Patrick,

do you know

what this

word means?

( slowly ):

“Krabs…”

Uh, isn’t that

the red, sweaty guy

you work for?

SPONGEBOB:

Nuh-uh, not

that word.

That word.

( dolphin chirps )

Hey!

I think I know

what that means.

That’s one of those

sentence enhancers.

Sentence enhancers?

You use them

when you want

to talk fancy.

You just sprinkle it

over anything you say

and wham-o!

You got yourself

a spicy sentence

sandwich.

Oh, I get it.

Let me try.

( clears throat )

Hello, Patrick.

Lovely ( dolphin chirps )

day we’re having

isn’t it?

Why, yes, it

is, SpongeBob.

This ( dolphin

chirps ) day

is particularly

( dolphin chirps )

Lovely.

How ( dolphin chirps )

right you are, Patrick.

( dolphin chirps )

( dolphin chirps )

( dolphin chirps )

Ooh, you’re right, Patrick.

My lips are tingling from the

spiciness of this conversation.

Ooh-hoo, mine, too.

( spluttering and laughing )

( both laughing )

It tingles

when I laugh.

( whistling )

Hello, customers.

Nice ( dolphin chirps ) day

we’re having, huh?

( gasps )

Did he just say…

Aye, he did.

Hey, Patrick, how

the ( dolphin chirps )

are you?

Pretty ( dolphin chirps )

good, SpongeBob.

I thought this was a restaurant,

not a gutter-mouth convention.

( feedback )

Attention, customers.

( over intercom ):

Today’s special

is a ( dolphin chirps )

crabby pattie

served in a greasy

( dolphin chirps ) sauce

and grilled to ( dolphin

chirps ) perfection.

And, don’t forget to ask us

to ( dolphin chirps )

the ( dolphin chirps ) fries.

It’ll be our ( dolphin chirps )

pleasure.

Hi, Squidward.

How the ( dolphin chirps )

are you?

Nice ( dolphin

chirps ) day

isn’t it,

Squidward?

I don’t understand.

That guy’s talented.

He doesn’t have

to work blue.

Let’s go somewhere

more family oriented.

( customers

complaining angrily )

MAXimuM

CAPaciTY

350

( siren wails )

Huh?

( gasps )

The Krusty Krab!

She’s empty!

All hands on deck!

Batten the

front doors!

Brace the cash

Register!

Break out

the happy snacks!

Squidward!

Where have all me

beautiful paying

customers gone?

Apparently the

two barnacle-

mouth brothers

just learned

a new word

and SpongeBob

just said it

over the intercom.

Well, what was it?

What did he say?

Uh, he said, uh, well,

he said…

( whispering )

Huh?

( whispering )

( gasps )

SpongeBob

and friend!

Front and center!

Why, I ought to make

the two of you paint

the Krusty Krab

for using

such language!

But, Mr. Krabs

we were only using

our sentence enhancers.

Yeah, it’s fancy talk.

There ain’t nothing fancy

about that word!

You mean,

( dolphin chirps )?

Yes, that one!

Now, quit

saying that.

It’s a bad word.

BOTH:

Bad word?!

( moaning )

Yes, siree.

That’s bad word number 11.

In fact, there are 13 bad words

you should

never use.

Don’t you mean

there are

only seven?

Not if you’re

a sailor.

( chuckles )

Wow, 13.

That’s a lot of

( dolphin chirps )

bad words.

Okay, boys, I want you

to promise me

you’ll never use

that word again.

We promise. We promise.

SPONGEBOB:

Gee, I am sure glad

Mr. Krabs told us

that word we

were using was

a bad word.

Yeah, me, too

because classy sophisticates

like us

should not stain our lips

with cursing.

Yea, verily.

Now let’s play

a nice, wholesome game

of Eels

and Escalators.

Oh, boy, my favorite!

Come on, Gary needs

a new pair of shoes.

Ooh, eels.

Too bad, SpongeBob.

You got to ride the eel.

Darn.

My turn!

Hooray!

Escalators!

( laughs heartily )

Up, up, up!

Come on, escalators,

escalators, escalators.

( sighs )

Eels again.

My turn!

Escalators!

Escalators, escalators,

escalators.

Eels?!

Es-kee-lators!

Well, this is

your last chance, SpongeBob.

Oh, if you get

eels again, you lose.

Ooh…

escalators, escalators,

escalators!

Ha! Escalators!

Eels.

Bah!

( dolphin chirps )

Ohhhhh.

You said number 11.

I-I-I didn’t mean…

You got to

understand, Patrick.

I was trying…

What I meant

to say…

Some things

just slip out.

You got to

understand.

Don’t worry,

SpongeBob.

I understand.

Mr. Krabs!

Mr. Krabs! Mr. Krabs!

Patrick!

Patrick, no!

Please don’t tell.

But you said

( dolphin chirps ).

Aha!

Now I’m going to tell

Mr. Krabs on you!

Not if I tell first!

I can run faster

than you.

( laughs )

See you at

the Krusty Krab!

( laughs )

Oh, no!

( laughs )

Mr. Krabs, Mr. Krabs, Mr. Krabs!

What, what, what?

Patrick, Patrick, Patrick!

Yes, yes, yes?

He said,

he said…

Out with it, boy!

We were playing

Eels and Escalators

and he was going up,

and I rode the eel.

Then we ran, and Patrick

said some things.

What things?

Well, he said…

Yes?

Well, he said

a certain word

that you said

he shouldn’t say

and this particular

word happens to be

word number 11

in a list of 13 words

that you said shouldn’t

be said.

Uh, right.

What was that part

about the, uh…

who now?

Mr. Krabs, Mr. Krabs, Mr. Krabs!

( sighs )

BOTH:

He said that word

you said

he shouldn’t!

( both yelling )

Now I’m going to let go

of your lips

and when I do, I want you

to calmly tell me

what youse need to tell me,

understand?

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

BOTH:

He said ( dolphin chirps ).

( gasps )

Do my ears deceive me?

You two should be ashamed!

Time to take out

the trash.

You two need to be

taught a lesson.

I thought I made it clear.

Never-- and I mean never--

use number 11

or any of the 13 bad words.

Now, the both of youse

wait right here.

I’ll be back.

What’s going

to happen to us?

We’ll probably get 40 lashes.

Oh, no!

I’m sorry, Patrick.

Mr. Krabs

is right.

There’s no need

for words like that.

I’m sorry, too,

SpongeBob.

Let’s make

a vow, Patrick.

From this day forth

a foul word shall

never pass our lips.

We will be

good citizens

just like good old

Mr. Krabs.

Agreed.

KRABS:

All right, you

two foul mouths.

As punishment for fouling

the air in me restaurant

with your foul words

you’re going to give

the Krusty Krab

a fresh coat of paint

from top to bottom.

Woo! Wow! Oh!

Whoa!

My ( dolphin chirps ) foot!

What ( dolphin chirps ) genius

put a ( dolphin chirps ) rock

in a path!

I got a ( horn honks )

foot here!

Oh

( seal

barks )!

( horn

beeps )

( seagull

caws )

…Five, six…

…Side of ( dolphin chirps )

and a helping of ( honk )...

Nine.

Aw, ( seal barks )

( seagull caws ) grabbin’...

( foghorn

blows )

That’s all 13, Patrick.

( gasps )

We’re going to tell

your mom, Mr. Krabs.

No, please!

Not my mommy!

Wait!

Please don’t tell

me mother!

I don’t think

her little old

heart can take it!

BOTH:

Mama Krabs! Mama Krabs!

Well, hello there.

Mama Krabs, he said

( dolphin chirps )

and then he said

( dolphin chirps ) again

and he said

( seal barks )

and then he screamed

( foghorn blows )

and he ( airhorn

honks ) Mrs. Krabs.

He didn’t care.

Such a stream of

( seagull caws )

( foghorn blasts,

bell dings )

I have never heard

in my days.

Oh, dear.

My poor, old heart.

( gasps )

Oh, dear mother.

What have these

foul-mouth heathens

done to you?

You two should be

ashamed.

Making an old lady faint

with your sailor talk.

You should all

be ashamed.

And if you’re going

to talk like sailors

then you’re going

to work like sailors.

I guess you scalawags

have earned a glass of lemonade.

( laughs, imitating Popeye )

Yee-ow!

My ( horn blasts ) foot!

( gasps ) ( gasps )

Mother!

What?

It’s old man Jenkins

and his jalopy.

( horn blasts )

Howdy, Mrs. K.!

( laughing as horn blasts )

  • Home Video Releases

SpongeBob SquarePants: Sea Stories DVD (November 5th, 2002)

SpongeBob SquarePants: The Complete 2nd Season DVD Disc 3 (October 5th, 2004)

SpongeBob SquarePants: The Complete 2nd Season DVD Disc 3 (October 19th, 2004)

SpongeBob SquarePants: The First 100 Episodes DVD Disc 5 (Season 2) (September 22nd, 2009)

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