Sailor Mouth (SpongeBob SquarePants) (transcript) (9/21/2001)

Premiered: Friday, September 21, 2001

Episode Transcript [Closed Captioning][]

1088 2201 1067

7017

Sailor

Mouth

750 534

313

3187 2201 830 2200

♪ Oh, watch out, trigger,

she’s a proper ju-ber-ju ♪

storyboard directors

Walt Dohrn

Paul Tibbitt

♪ Oh, watch out, trigger,

she’s a proper ju-ber-ju ♪

storyboard artists

Carson Kugler

William Reiss

Erik Wiese

♪ On a passage

from the Dogger Bank ♪

♪ On a passage

from the Dogger Bank ♪

written by

Walt Dohrn

Paul Tibbitt

Merriwether Williams

♪ To Great Grimsby. ♪

written by

Walt Dohrn

Paul Tibbitt

Merriwether Williams

♪ To Great Grimsby. ♪

animation director

Andrew Overtoom

creative director

Derek Drymon

animation director

Andrew Overtoom

creative director

Derek Drymon

( Krabs sighs )

THE

KRuSTy

KRaB

OPEN

ENTER

Well, it’s the worst time

of the day once again.

Well, it’s the worst time

of the day once again.

Well, it’s the worst time

of the day once again.

OO

A

OPEN

Well, it’s the worst time

of the day once again.

Well, it’s the worst time

of the day once again.

Well, it’s the worst time

of the day once again.

( sadly ):

Closing time.

OO

A

CLoS

( sadly ):

Closing time.

Well, see you

in the a.m., Mr. Krabs.

OO

A

CLoSED

Hold on there,

SpongeBob.

Hold on there,

SpongeBob.

Hold on there,

SpongeBob.

Take that pile

of filth out with you.

Take that pile

of filth out with you.

OPEN

( gasps ):

Mr. Krabs

you shouldn’t talk

about Squidward like that.

you shouldn’t talk

about Squidward like that.

you shouldn’t talk

about Squidward like that.

you shouldn’t talk

about Squidward like that.

OPEN

He means this filth, you loon.

♪ Mm, taking out the trash,

taking out the trash. ♪

♪ Mm, taking out the trash,

taking out the trash. ♪

♪ Mm, taking out the trash,

taking out the trash. ♪

PAA SI AN ANT ON XS

WANES SSY MoNX

ANAeSy

YOU DoN RNSON MU

NEMATOADS

ARE

PEOPLE TOO

PATCHY WAS

HERE

STARFISH DOGFISH

ROOL ❤️ S

CATFISH VI

VK

Hmm, dumpster writing!

The voice of the people.

“Up with bubbles,

down with air.”

“Up with bubbles,

down with air.”

NEMATOADS

ARE

PEOPLE TOO

PATCHY WAS

HERE

STARFISH DOGFISH

ROOL ❤️ S

CATFISH VI

VK

“Up with bubbles,

down with air.”

Up WitH BUbbleS

DOWN WiTH Air

( laughs )

“Nematodes are people, too.”

NEMATOADS

ARE

PEOPLE TOO

PATCHY WAS

HERE

STARFISH DOGFISH

ROOL ❤️ S

CATFISH VI

VK

Ha, those nematodes.

Here’s one somebody

didn’t finish:

“Squidward smells.”

SQUiDWArD

SMELLS

“Squidward smells.”

“Good.”

SQUiDWArD

SMELLS

GOoD

( laughs )

Hmm, what’s this one?

“Krabs is a…”

Hmm?

“Krabs is a…”

KRABS iS A

“Krabs is a…”

( dolphin chirps )

Do you kiss

your mother

with that mouth?

PAASIAN

WANES ANT O

SSY

RNSON

ANAeSy

YOU DoN

Do you kiss

your mother

with that mouth?

Do you kiss

your mother

with that mouth?

Well, sometimes,

but not… recently.

PAASIAN

WANES ANT ON XS

SSYMoAX

RNSON

ANAeSy MG

YOU DoN

PATRICK:

Hi, garbage man.

PATRICK:

Hi, garbage man.

Hi, SpongeBob.

PAASIAN

WANES ANT ON XS

SSYMoAX

RNSON

ANAeSy MG

YOU DoN

Hi, Patrick.

Hey, Patrick,

do you know

what this

word means?

WOVOX

ONIX

X XA OIX

( slowly ):

“Krabs…”

Uh, isn’t that

the red, sweat guy

you work for?

WOVOX

ONIX

X XA OIX

Uh, isn’t that

the red, sweaty guy

you work for?

SPONGEBOB:

Nuh-uh, not

that word.

SPONGEBOB:

Nuh-uh, not

that word.

KRABS iS A

That word.

( dolphin chirps )

WOVOX

X NVO YA

Hey!

PAASA ANTONYXS

V SEYMOAX

ON MG

I think I know

what that means.

I think I know

what that means.

I think I know

what that means.

That’s one of those

sentence enhancers.

Sentence enhancers?

NEMATO

A

STARFISH

ROOL

You use them

when you want

to talk fancy.

You use them

when you want

to talk fancy.

ST TCHY WAS

RO HERE

OGFIS

❤️ s

AT FISH

You just sprinkle it

over anything you say

You just sprinkle it

over anything you say

and wham-o!

R

PATCHY WAS

HERE

DOGFIS

❤️ s

CATFISH

You got yourself

a spicy sentence

sandwich.

Oh, I get it.

PA

ANTONYXS

SEYMOAX

RNSON MG

Let me try.

( clears throat )

Hello, Patrick.

ANTONYXS

SEYMOAX

RNSON MG

Lovely ( dolphin chirps )

day we’re having

Lovely ( dolphin chirps )

day we’re having

isn’t it?

Why, yes, it

is, SpongeBob.

PA

ANTONYXS

SEYMOAX

RNSON MG

This ( dolphin

chirps ) day

is particularly

( dolphin chirps )

lovely.

How ( dolphin chirps )

right you are, Patrick.

ANTONYXS

SEYMOAX

RNSON MG

( dolphin chirps )

PA

ANTONYXS

SEYMOAX

RNSON MG

Ooh, you’re right, Patrick.

NEMAT

STARFISh

ROOL

My lips are tingling from the

spiciness of this conversation.

My lips are tingling from the

spiciness of this conversation.

Ooh-hoo, mine, too.

SQUW RABS iS

( spluttering and laughing )

( both laughing )

S

RO

ATCHY WA

HERE

OGFIS

❤️ s

AT FIS

( both laughing )

It tingles

when I laugh.

It tingles

when I laugh.

It tingles

when I laugh.

It tingles

when I laugh.

( whistling )

THE

KRuSTy

KRaB

HELP

  WANTEd

ENTER

( whistling )

Hello, customers.

Nice ( dolphin chirps ) day

we’re having, huh?

Nice ( dolphin chirps ) day

we’re having, huh?

Nice ( dolphin chirps ) day

we’re having, huh?

Nice ( dolphin chirps ) day

we’re having, huh?

( gasps )

Did he just say…

Aye, he did.

Hey, Patrick, how

the ( dolphin chirps )

are you?

Hey, Patrick, how

the ( dolphin chirps )

are you?

Pretty ( dolphin chirps )

good, SpongeBob.

I thought this was a restaurant,

not a gutter-mouth convention.

I thought this was a restaurant,

not a gutter-mouth convention.

I thought this was a restaurant,

not a gutter-mouth convention.

( feedback )

Attention, customers.

( over intercom ):

Today’s special

is a ( dolphin chirps )

crabby pattie

served in a greasy

( dolphin chirps ) sauce

and grilled to ( dolphin

chirps ) perfection.

and grilled to ( dolphin

chirps ) perfection.

and grilled to ( dolphin

chirps ) perfection.

and grilled to ( dolphin

chirps ) perfection.

and grilled to ( dolphin

chirps ) perfection.

And, don’t forget to ask us

to ( dolphin chirps )

And, don’t forget to ask us

to ( dolphin chirps )

the ( dolphin chirps ) fries.

It’ll be our ( dolphin chirps )

pleasure.

It’ll be our ( dolphin chirps )

pleasure.

It’ll be our ( dolphin chirps )

pleasure.

Hi, Squidward.

GALLEY GRUB ORDER

HERE

How the ( dolphin chirps )

are you?

Nice ( dolphin

chirps ) day

isn’t it,

Squidward?

isn’t it,

Squidward?

I don’t understand.

That guy’s talented.

He doesn’t have

to work blue.

He doesn’t have

to work blue.

Let’s go somewhere

more family oriented.

( customers

complaining angrily )

THE

KRuSTy

KRaB

ENTER

( customers

complaining angrily )

( customers

complaining angrily )

MAXimuM

CAPaciTY

350

MAXimuM

CAPaciTY

3

( siren wails )

Huh?

( gasps )

The Krusty Krab!

She’s empty!

All hands on deck!

Batten the

front doors!

Brace the cash

register!

Brace the cash

register!

Brace the cash

register!

Break out

the happy snacks!

Break out

the happy snacks!

Squidward!

GALLEY GRUB

Where have all me

beautiful paying

customers gone?

Where have all me

beautiful paying

customers gone?

Apparently the

two barnacle-

mouth brothers

GALLEY GRUB

just learned

a new word

and SpongeBob

just said it

over the intercom.

Well, what was it?

What did he say?

Well, what was it?

What did he say?

Uh, he said, uh, well,

he said…

Uh, he said, uh, well,

he said…

Uh, he said, uh, well,

he said…

( whispering )

Huh?

( whispering )

( gasps )

SpongeBob

and friend!

Front and center!

Why, I ought to make

the two of you paint

the Krusty Krab

Why, I ought to make

the two of you paint

the Krusty Krab

for using

such language!

But, Mr. Krabs

we were only using

our sentence enhancers.

we were only using

our sentence enhancers.

we were only using

our sentence enhancers.

Yeah, it’s fancy talk.

There ain’t nothing fancy

about that word!

You mean,

( dolphin chirps )?

Yes, that one!

Now, quit

saying that.

Now, quit

saying that.

Now, quit

saying that.

It’s a bad word.

BOTH:

Bad word?!

( moaning )

Yes, siree.

That’s bad word number 11.

In fact, there are 13 bad words

you should

never use.

Don’t you mean

there are

only seven?

Don’t you mean

there are

only seven?

Not if you’re

a sailor.

( chuckles )

Wow, 13.

That’s a lot of

( dolphin chirps )

bad words.

That’s a lot of

( dolphin chirps )

bad words.

Okay, boys, I want you

to promise me

you’ll never use

that word again.

We promise.

SPONGEBOB:

Gee, I sure am glad

Mr. Krabs told us

that word we

were using was

a bad word.

Yeah, me, too

because classy sophisticates

like us

NiSh

should not stain our lips

with cursing.

Yea, verily.

Now let’s play

a nice wholesome game

of Eels

and Escalators.

FiNiSh

STaRT

Oh, boy, my favorite!

NiSh

Come on, Gary needs

a new pair of shoes.

FiNiSh

Ooh, eels.

Too bad, SpongeBob.

You got to ride the eel.

FiNish

Darn.

STaRT

My turn!

Hooray!

FiNish

Hooray!

Escalators!

( laughs heartily )

Up, up, up!

START

Up, up, up!

Come on, escalators,

escalators, escalators.

( sighs )

START

Eels again.

My turn!

Escalators!

Escalators, escalators,

escalators.

Eels?!

FiNish

STaRT

Es-kee-lators!

FiNish

STaRT

Well, this is

your last chance, SpongeBob.

Oh, if you get

eels again, you lose.

YOU

LoSE!

Ooh…

escalators, escalators,

escalators!

Ha! Escalators!

Eels.

Bah!

( dolphin chirps )

FiNish

STaRT

Ohhhhh.

You said number 11.

I-I-I didn’t mean…

You got to

understand, Patrick.

FiNish

STaRT

I was trying…

What I meant

to say…

Some things

just slip out.

You got to

understand.

Don’t worry,

SpongeBob.

Don’t worry,

SpongeBob.

FiNish

STaRT

I understand.

Mr. Krabs!

FiNish

STaRT

Mr. Krabs!

Mr. Krabs! Mr. Krabs!

Patrick!

Patrick, no!

Please don’t tell.

But you said

( dolphin chirps ).

Aha!

Now I’m going to tell

Mr. Krabs on you!

Now I’m going to tell

Mr. Krabs on you!

Now I’m going to tell

Mr. Krabs on you!

Not if I tell first!

I can run faster

than you.

( laughs )

See you at

the Krusty Krab!

iCE CREAM

🍦🍦🍦🍦

See you at

the Krusty Krab!

iCE CREAM

🍦🍦🍦🍦

( laughs )

Oh, no!

iCE CREAM

🍦🍦

Oh, no!

( laughs )

THE

KRuSTY

KRaB

ENTER

Mr. Krabs, Mr. Krabs, Mr. Krabs!

What, what, what?

Patrick, Patrick, Patrick!

Yes, yes, yes?

He said,

he said…

He said,

he said…

Out with it, boy!

We were playing

Eels and Escalators

We were playing

Eels and Escalators

and he was going up,

and I rode the eel.

and he was going up,

and I rode the eel.

Then we ran, and Patrick

said some things.

Then we ran, and Patrick

said some things.

What things?

Well, he said…

Yes?

Well, he said

a certain word

that you said

he shouldn’t say

that you said

he shouldn’t say

and this particular

word happens to be

word number 11

and this particular

word happens to be

word number 11

in a list of 13 words

that you said shouldn’t

be said.

in a list of 13 words

that you said shouldn’t

be said.

Uh, right.

What was that part

about the, uh…

who now?

What was that part

about the, uh…

who now?

What was that part

about the, uh…

who now?

Mr. Krabs, Mr. Krabs, Mr. Krabs!

( sighs )

BOTH:

He said that word

BOTH:

He said that word

BOTH:

He said that word

you said

he shouldn’t!

you said

he shouldn’t!

( both yelling )

Now I’m going to let go

of your lips

and when I do, I want you

to calmly tell me

and when I do, I want you

to calmly tell me

what youse need to tell me,

understand?

what youse need to tell me,

understand?

what youse need to tell me,

understand?

Mm-hmm.

BOTH:

He said ( dolphin chirps ).

( gasps )

Do my ears deceive me?

You two should be ashamed!

Time to take out

the trash.

THE

KRuSTY

KRaB

ENTER

You two need to be

taught a lesson.

I thought I made it clear.

Never-- and I mean never--

use number 11

Never-- and I mean never--

use number 11

or any of the 13 bad words.

Now, the both of youse

wait right here.

I’ll be back.

What’s going

to happen to us?

We’ll probably get 40 lashes.

Oh, no!

I’m sorry, Patrick.

Mr. Krabs

is right.

There’s no need

for words like that.

There’s no need

for words like that.

I’m sorry, too,

SpongeBob.

I’m sorry, too,

SpongeBob.

Let’s make

a vow, Patrick.

From this day forth

a foul word shall

never pass our lips.

We will be

good citizens

We will be

good citizens

just like good old

Mr. Krabs.

Agreed.

KRABS:

All right, you

two foul mouths.

As punishment for fouling

the air in me restaurant

As punishment for fouling

the air in me restaurant

with your foul words

you’re going to give

the Krusty Krab

a fresh coat of paint

from top to bottom.

a fresh coat of paint

from top to bottom.

Woo! Wow! Oh!

Whoa!

My ( dolphin chirps ) foot!

What ( dolphin chirps ) genius

put a ( dolphin chirps ) rock

in a path!

I got a ( horn honks )

foot here!

I got a ( horn honks )

foot here!

Oh

( seal

barks )!

( horn

beeps )

( seagull

caws )

( seagull

caws )

…Five, six…

…Side of ( dolphin chirps )

and a helping of ( honk )...

Nine.

Aw, ( seal barks )

( seagull caws ) grabbin’...

( foghorn

blows )

( foghorn

blows )

( foghorn

blows )

That’s all 13, Patrick.

( gasps )

We’re going to tell

your mom, Mr. Krabs.

No, please!

Not my mommy!

Wait!

Please don’t tell

me mother!

I don’t think

her little old

heart can take it!

BOTH:

Mama Krabs! Mama Krabs!

Well, hello there.

Mama Krabs, he said

( dolphin chirps )

and then he said

( dolphin chirps ) again

and then he said

( dolphin chirps ) again

and he said

( seal barks )

and he said

( seal barks )

and then he screamed

( foghorn blows )

and he ( airhorn

honks ) Mrs. Krabs.

He didn’t care.

Such a stream of

( seagull caws )

( foghorn blasts,

bell dings )

( foghorn blasts,

bell dings )

I have never heard

in my days.

I have never heard

in my days.

Oh, dear.

My poor, old heart.

( gasps )

Oh, dear mother.

What have these

foul-mouthed heathens

What have these

foul-mouthed heathens

done to you?

You two should be

ashamed.

You two should be

ashamed.

Making an old lady faint

with your sailor talk.

Making an old lady faint

with your sailor talk.

You should all

be ashamed.

You should all

be ashamed.

And if you’re going

to talk like sailors

then you’re going

to work like sailors.

I guess you scalawags

have earned a glass of lemonade.

( laughs, imitating Popeye )

Yee-ow!

My ( horn blasts ) foot!

( gasps )

Mother!

What?

It’s old man Jenkins

and his jalopy.

It’s old man Jenkins

and his jalopy.

( horn blasts )

Howdy, Mrs. K.!

( laughing as horn blasts )

Home Video Releases

SpongeBob SquarePants: Sea Stories DVD (November 5th, 2002)

SpongeBob SquarePants: The Complete 2nd Season DVD Disc 3 (October 5th, 2004)

SpongeBob SquarePants: The Complete 2nd Season DVD Disc 3 (October 19th, 2004)

SpongeBob SquarePants: The First 100 Episodes DVD Disc 5 (Season 2) (September 22nd, 2009)