Premiered: Friday, March 9, 2001
Episode Transcript [Closed Captioning][]
ShanghaieD
directed by
Aaron Springer
storyboard artist
C.H. Greenblatt
written by
Aaron Springer
C.H. Greenblatt
Merriwether Williams
animation director
Frank Weiss
creative director
Derek Drymon
( yawning )
Mmm, Kelpo…
KELPO
WiTH ONE
OF 8
ESSENTiAL
PRiZES
iNSiDE!
“With one of eight
essential prizes inside!”
( clang )
Holy Shrimp!
Squidward!
The sky had a baby
from my cereal box.
Squidward!
Squidward! The
sky had a baby!
That’s not a baby,
that’s a giant anchor.
Now, go away!
Hey, SpongeBob.
The sky had a baby.
I know.
What do you think
we should name it?
How about…?
Why don’t you two
go climb its anchor rope?
I’m sure it goes somewhere
far away.
( creaking and clanging )
Now look what you’ve done!
We didn’t do
it, Squidward.
Our hands are clean.
PATRICK:
Clean.
Well, I’m going to get
to the bottom of this thing.
SPONGEBOB:
Wouldn’t that
be the top?
SPONGEBOB:
Squid, wait! Wait!
PATRICK:
Squid!
A Few
Inches Later
Ship!
SpongeBob, how long
are you going to stay
in your little fantasy world?
SPONGEBOB:
No, look-- a giant ship.
Great, let’s go.
Now I can finally
give this anchor-dropper
a piece of my mind.
I don’t know, Squidward.
The ship has
a spooky green glow around it.
That’s probably because
its good-for-nothing owner
is too lazy to clean
or drop his anchors
in the right place.
Squid, wait!
All right, who owns this crate?
OWNER
Come on out.
I want to file a complaint.
( wind howling )
Doesn’t this place
seem familiar?
I don’t know-- why?
I don’t know. Doesn’t it
just kind of ring a bell?
( doorbell ringing )
Yes.
I know who owns
this boat.
I just can’t place
the name.
( Squidward knocking
on door )
PROPERTY
OF THE
FLYIN G
DUTCHMAN
( growling )
No, no, it’s not…
( repeats growling )
I am the Flying Dutchman.
That’s it!
This ship belongs
to the Red Baron.
Who be disturbing
the Flying Dutchman
in his own lair?
It’s Squidward.
He wants to complain to you.
( stammering ):
I-I-I…
No, I-I-I don’t.
Well, what about all that stuff
about him having a dirty ship
and being lazy and all?
( chuckling uneasily ):
I-I never said that.
Insulting a man’s ship be worse
than insulting his mother.
No, no, wait--
it was his mother
you said was dirty,
not his ship.
( screams )
Ow.
You’re next.
( both scream )
BOTH:
That was a close one.
Welcome back.
( both scream )
That was
a closer one.
Welcome back.
( both scream )
Hey, how come when they act up
all they get
is the welcome wagon?
If you ask me, it’s…
( screams )
So are you going
to try that again?
Probably.
( screams )
How about now?
Uh…
No, no,
they’re not.
( sighs )
( screams )
Now listen.
GHOST
RULE
BOOK
( clears throat )
“Whosoever sets foot
on the Flying Dutchman’s ship
“uninvited or otherwise
“shall become members
of his ghostly crew forever…
and, uh… ever.”
Will we be getting
business cards?
Silence! ( screams )
You’re part
of my crew now
and our job is
to sail around and
frighten people.
It’ll be grueling,
mind-numbing and repetitive.
Just like… daytime television.
Now, you listen,
here, mister.
If you think
I’m going to spend
more than five minutes
on this dumpster
then you’re crazy.
I mean, look at this place.
It’s disgusting.
Whoever told you
that hanging oil lamps
next to hardwood paneling
was a good idea…
Oh, now what? I suppose
you’re going to show me…
Oh, oh, gee, that’s very nice.
Oh, what is this,
some kind of magic act?
( screaming )
( ghoulish laughter )
( screaming continues )
( ghoulish laughter continues )
Would anyone else
like to enter the
Fly of Despair?
No, we know
our place now,
Mr. Dutchman.
We’ll do
anything you say.
Then for starters,
you can swab the deck.
( moaning spookily ):
Look, Patrick, a real,
live ghost mop.
And I got this hat.
Listen!
We’re heading down
to Bikini Bottom tonight
for a little haunting spree
so I want this ship
to look good and scary.
You mean you want it
to look good… and scary.
Well, I think
we could probably…
No, no, I think
he means he wants it
to look so good
that it’s scary.
Or maybe that
by looking so scary
you forget that
it doesn’t look good.
I don’t get it.
SPONGEBOB:
Look, it’s easy.
It simply means…
Never mind
what it means!
I just want it
to look scary!
That’s it!
You know, mold growing
on the ceilings
bugs in the sink.
So you don’t want it
to look good?
Get moving!
BOTH ( rapidly ):
♪ A sailor’s life is
a wonderful life… ♪
( ship’s bell clanging )
What a night be this.
Crew, howl with me
so that we might set
the seven seas
ablaze with fear!
( howls )
( bleats )
( yodels )
( howls )
( bleats )
( yodels )
( Patrick yodeling
and moaning )
( Patrick continues
yodeling )
( yodeling stops )
Eh, that’ll do.
Okay, square one.
Since pink one’s working
the navigation
it’s up to you to find
our first victim.
Here, use this spyglass.
Now, hurry up--
we’re burning moonlight.
Let’s see who we can find.
Captain, there’s a guy
we can scare.
( heavy metal music blaring )
( blows )
I had four biscuits,
and I ate one.
Then I only had three.
Ah… it does me heart good
to see children out
after dark.
Pink one, take us
behind those rocks.
Moving behind the rocks!
( ship creaking )
( grinding and crashing )
Keep going!
You’re good, you’re good.
You’re good.
And… stop.
Don’t worry, Cap’n.
We’ll buff out those scratches.
( sighs )
All right,
never mind it.
Just jump out
when I give the signal.
Boo! ( screams )
Prepare to be burdened
with the haunting memory
of my ghostly ghost pirates.
Was that the signal?
Okay, sorry, sorry.
Just do it again!
With the haunting memory
of my ghostly ghost pirates!
( moaning hauntingly )
( moaning ):
How does he do that?
( moaning )
Get back on the ship.
BOTH ( moaning ):
It’s still a mystery.
Those guys
are dorks.
Yes, but they’re my dorks.
SPONGEBOB:
You’re good,
you’re good.
You’re good.
( thunder crashing )
( cackling )
( bubbling )
Huh?
( makes gurgling sound )
SPONGEBOB:
You’re good,
you’re good.
You’re good.
( panting )
( fierce growling )
( crash and muffled moaning )
SPONGEBOB:
You’re good,
you’re good.
You’re good.
( teeth chattering )
( cackling )
( growling )
( upbeat music playing )
Why do you think
the Dutchman
asked us to wait
in our bunk room?
Maybe he’s going
to give us a reward.
Like movie passes?
Or an oversized
coffee mug!
( giggling happily )
I’ve been thinking.
Stop bouncing!
( giggling stops )
This whole “crew for eternity”
thing isn’t working out.
It’s not really you,
so much as it is me.
You’re setting us free?
Well, actually,
I’m just going to eat you.
See you at dinner.
( both scream )
Wait.
I have an idea.
Really? What is it?
Let’s leave.
But the door is locked.
And the only way out
is through the…
perfume department!
( elevator bells dinging
and people talking )
Let’s do it.
( gulps )
( panting )
( spritzing )
( gasping )
( spritzing )
( coughing and gasping )
( spritzing )
( groaning )
( spritzing )
( gagging )
( coughing )
( wheezing )
( both panting )
I always hate going
in there.
Yeah.
Wait, listen!
DUTCHMAN:
Dear Diary…
I’ve told them
I’m going to eat them tomorrow.
I made up some
of that brown sauce
my cousin showed me
just for the occasion.
Hah! It’s a good thing
I found my dining sock again.
Remember the last time
I lost me dining sock?
I couldn’t eat for a whole week.
Yes, sir, sometimes I wonder
how I’d survive.
If anything should
ever happen…
Ahh!
( panicked gasping )
Give me back my sock!
Everyone knows
I can’t eat without it!
Never!
Okay, then!
Uh, oh,
give it to me!
No!
Wait! You’re stretching
out the elastic!
It would seem
we have reached an impasse.
Pink one is right.
Tell you what--
you give me back the sock and
I’ll give you… three wishes.
Make it five.
Four.
Three.
Take it or leave it.
Okay, uh, three.
You get three wishes.
Wow! Three wishes, Pat.
Isn’t that great?!
Wishes? I wish
we had known that earlier.
( ticks )
Okay, you got
two wishes left.
Well, we still
have two more.
How exciting!
I wish Squidward were here
to see this.
( screaming )
Boy, I’m glad all that’s over.
Squidward, you’re back!
Guess what.
The Dutchman gave us
three wishes!
Patrick used the first one
and I guess I…
just used the second one.
Well, then the
last one you owe me
because you got me
back into this mess!
Wait, I think
it belongs to me!
( angry shouting )
That’s enough!
Using my mystic
otherworldly powers
I shall decide
who gets the last wish.
Eenie-meenie-minie-mo,
catch a sailor by the toe.
If he hollers, let him go.
My mother told me to pick
the very best one and…
Now, think, SpongeBob.
We’re about to get eaten.
What can you wish for
to make it
so we don’t get eaten?
Don’t worry, Squidward
I’ve got it
all figured out.
He won’t be able
to eat us
because I wish
that the Dutchman
was a vegetarian!
ALL:
Hooray!
We’re home!
You did it,
SpongeBob.
We’re safe!
But why have we
been turned into fruits?
Hey, I get a wish, too.
And fruits prevents scurvy.
( whistling )
( all screaming )
Hey, get back here with that!
I’ll get you!
( all yelling )
- Home Video Releases
SpongeBob SquarePants: Sea Stories DVD (November 5th, 2002)
SpongeBob SquarePants: The Complete 2nd Season DVD (Disc 2) (October 5th, 2004)
SpongeBob SquarePants: The Complete 2nd Season DVD (Disc 2) (October 19th, 2004)
SpongeBob SquarePants: The First 100 Episodes DVD Disc 5 (Season 2) (September 22nd, 2009)