Cygwin Wiki

Premiered: Friday, March 9, 2001

Episode Transcript [Closed Captioning][]


directed by

Aaron Springer

storyboard artist

C.H. Greenblatt

written by

Aaron Springer

C.H. Greenblatt

Merriwether Williams

animation director

Frank Weiss

creative director

Derek Drymon

( yawning )

Mmm, Kelpo…



OF 8




“With one of eight

essential prizes inside!”

( clang )

Holy Shrimp!


The sky had a baby

from my cereal box.


Squidward! The

sky had a baby!

That’s not a baby,

that’s a giant anchor.

Now, go away!

Hey, SpongeBob.

The sky had a baby.

I know.

What do you think

we should name it?

How about…?

Why don’t you two

go climb its anchor rope?

I’m sure it goes somewhere

far away.

( creaking and clanging )

Now look what you’ve done!

We didn’t do

it, Squidward.

Our hands are clean.



Well, I’m going to get

to the bottom of this thing.


Wouldn’t that

be the top?


Squid, wait! Wait!



A Few

Inches Later


SpongeBob, how long

are you going to stay

in your little fantasy world?


No, look-- a giant ship.

Great, let’s go.

Now I can finally

give this anchor-dropper

a piece of my mind.

I don’t know, Squidward.

The ship has

a spooky green glow around it.

That’s probably because

its good-for-nothing owner

is too lazy to clean

or drop his anchors

in the right place.

Squid, wait!

All right, who owns this crate?


Come on out.

I want to file a complaint.

( wind howling )

Doesn’t this place

seem familiar?

I don’t know-- why?

I don’t know. Doesn’t it

just kind of ring a bell?

( doorbell ringing )


I know who owns

this boat.

I just can’t place

the name.

( Squidward knocking

on door )





( growling )

No, no, it’s not…

( repeats growling )

I am the Flying Dutchman.

That’s it!

This ship belongs

to the Red Baron.

Who be disturbing

the Flying Dutchman

in his own lair?

It’s Squidward.

He wants to complain to you.

( stammering ):


No, I-I-I don’t.

Well, what about all that stuff

about him having a dirty ship

and being lazy and all?

( chuckling uneasily ):

I-I never said that.

Insulting a man’s ship be worse

than insulting his mother.

No, no, wait--

it was his mother

you said was dirty,

not his ship.

( screams )


You’re next.

( both scream )


That was a close one.

Welcome back.

( both scream )

That was

a closer one.

Welcome back.

( both scream )

Hey, how come when they act up

all they get

is the welcome wagon?

If you ask me, it’s…

( screams )

So are you going

to try that again?


( screams )

How about now?


No, no,

they’re not.

( sighs )

( screams )

Now listen.




( clears throat )

“Whosoever sets foot

on the Flying Dutchman’s ship

“uninvited or otherwise

“shall become members

of his ghostly crew forever…

and, uh… ever.”

Will we be getting

business cards?

Silence! ( screams )

You’re part

of my crew now

and our job is

to sail around and

frighten people.

It’ll be grueling,

mind-numbing and repetitive.

Just like… daytime television.

Now, you listen,

here, mister.

If you think

I’m going to spend

more than five minutes

on this dumpster

then you’re crazy.

I mean, look at this place.

It’s disgusting.

Whoever told you

that hanging oil lamps

next to hardwood paneling

was a good idea…

Oh, now what? I suppose

you’re going to show me…

Oh, oh, gee, that’s very nice.

Oh, what is this,

some kind of magic act?

( screaming )

( ghoulish laughter )

( screaming continues )

( ghoulish laughter continues )

Would anyone else

like to enter the

Fly of Despair?

No, we know

our place now,

Mr. Dutchman.

We’ll do

anything you say.

Then for starters,

you can swab the deck.

( moaning spookily ):

Look, Patrick, a real,

live ghost mop.

And I got this hat.


We’re heading down

to Bikini Bottom tonight

for a little haunting spree

so I want this ship

to look good and scary.

You mean you want it

to look good… and scary.

Well, I think

we could probably…

No, no, I think

he means he wants it

to look so good

that it’s scary.

Or maybe that

by looking so scary

you forget that

it doesn’t look good.

I don’t get it.


Look, it’s easy.

It simply means…

Never mind

what it means!

I just want it

to look scary!

That’s it!

You know, mold growing

on the ceilings

bugs in the sink.

So you don’t want it

to look good?

Get moving!

BOTH ( rapidly ):

♪ A sailor’s life is

a wonderful life… ♪

( ship’s bell clanging )

What a night be this.

Crew, howl with me

so that we might set

the seven seas

ablaze with fear!

( howls )

( bleats )

( yodels )

( howls )

( bleats )

( yodels )

( Patrick yodeling

and moaning )

( Patrick continues

yodeling )

( yodeling stops )

Eh, that’ll do.

Okay, square one.

Since pink one’s working

the navigation

it’s up to you to find

our first victim.

Here, use this spyglass.

Now, hurry up--

we’re burning moonlight.

Let’s see who we can find.

Captain, there’s a guy

we can scare.

( heavy metal music blaring )

( blows )

I had four biscuits,

and I ate one.

Then I only had three.

Ah… it does me heart good

to see children out

after dark.

Pink one, take us

behind those rocks.

Moving behind the rocks!

( ship creaking )

( grinding and crashing )

Keep going!

You’re good, you’re good.

You’re good.

And… stop.

Don’t worry, Cap’n.

We’ll buff out those scratches.

( sighs )

All right,

never mind it.

Just jump out

when I give the signal.

Boo! ( screams )

Prepare to be burdened

with the haunting memory

of my ghostly ghost pirates.

Was that the signal?

Okay, sorry, sorry.

Just do it again!

With the haunting memory

of my ghostly ghost pirates!

( moaning hauntingly )

( moaning ):

How does he do that?

( moaning )

Get back on the ship.

BOTH ( moaning ):

It’s still a mystery.

Those guys

are dorks.

Yes, but they’re my dorks.


You’re good,

you’re good.

You’re good.

( thunder crashing )

( cackling )

( bubbling )


( makes gurgling sound )


You’re good,

you’re good.

You’re good.

( panting )

( fierce growling )

( crash and muffled moaning )


You’re good,

you’re good.

You’re good.

( teeth chattering )

( cackling )

( growling )

( upbeat music playing )

Why do you think

the Dutchman

asked us to wait

in our bunk room?

Maybe he’s going

to give us a reward.

Like movie passes?

Or an oversized

coffee mug!

( giggling happily )

I’ve been thinking.

Stop bouncing!

( giggling stops )

This whole “crew for eternity”

thing isn’t working out.

It’s not really you,

so much as it is me.

You’re setting us free?

Well, actually,

I’m just going to eat you.

See you at dinner.

( both scream )


I have an idea.

Really? What is it?

Let’s leave.

But the door is locked.

And the only way out

is through the…

perfume department!

( elevator bells dinging

and people talking )

Let’s do it.

( gulps )

( panting )

( spritzing )

( gasping )

( spritzing )

( coughing and gasping )

( spritzing )

( groaning )

( spritzing )

( gagging )

( coughing )

( wheezing )

( both panting )

I always hate going

in there.


Wait, listen!


Dear Diary…

I’ve told them

I’m going to eat them tomorrow.

I made up some

of that brown sauce

my cousin showed me

just for the occasion.

Hah! It’s a good thing

I found my dining sock again.

Remember the last time

I lost me dining sock?

I couldn’t eat for a whole week.

Yes, sir, sometimes I wonder

how I’d survive.

If anything should

ever happen…


( panicked gasping )

Give me back my sock!

Everyone knows

I can’t eat without it!


Okay, then!

Uh, oh,

give it to me!


Wait! You’re stretching

out the elastic!

It would seem

we have reached an impasse.

Pink one is right.

Tell you what--

you give me back the sock and

I’ll give you… three wishes.

Make it five.



Take it or leave it.

Okay, uh, three.

You get three wishes.

Wow! Three wishes, Pat.

Isn’t that great?!

Wishes? I wish

we had known that earlier.

( ticks )

Okay, you got

two wishes left.

Well, we still

have two more.

How exciting!

I wish Squidward were here

to see this.

( screaming )

Boy, I’m glad all that’s over.

Squidward, you’re back!

Guess what.

The Dutchman gave us

three wishes!

Patrick used the first one

and I guess I…

just used the second one.

Well, then the

last one you owe me

because you got me

back into this mess!

Wait, I think

it belongs to me!

( angry shouting )

That’s enough!

Using my mystic

otherworldly powers

I shall decide

who gets the last wish.


catch a sailor by the toe.

If he hollers, let him go.

My mother told me to pick

the very best one and…

Now, think, SpongeBob.

We’re about to get eaten.

What can you wish for

to make it

so we don’t get eaten?

Don’t worry, Squidward

I’ve got it

all figured out.

He won’t be able

to eat us

because I wish

that the Dutchman

was a vegetarian!



We’re home!

You did it,


We’re safe!

But why have we

been turned into fruits?

Hey, I get a wish, too.

And fruits prevents scurvy.

( whistling )

( all screaming )

Hey, get back here with that!

I’ll get you!

( all yelling )

  • Home Video Releases

SpongeBob SquarePants: Sea Stories DVD (November 5th, 2002)

SpongeBob SquarePants: The Complete 2nd Season DVD (Disc 2) (October 5th, 2004)

SpongeBob SquarePants: The Complete 2nd Season DVD (Disc 2) (October 19th, 2004)

SpongeBob SquarePants: The First 100 Episodes DVD Disc 5 (Season 2) (September 22nd, 2009)