SpongeBob SquarePants: SpongeBob’s Last Stand DVD (transcript) (3/16/2010)

DVD Release Date: Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Preview Transcript: Neptune’s Party Sneak Peek (SpongeBob SquarePants) (transcript) (3/16/2010) SPECIAL FEATURE [Closed Captioning][]

ANNOUNCER:

And now a special sneak peek

SNEAK PEEK!

SpongeBob

SQUAREPANTS

NEPTUNE’S

PARTy

Coming soon to nickelodeon and DVD!

of the new SpongeBob

SquarePants adventure:

Wow!

Why, you rolled out

the red carpet!

This ain’t for you lot!

This is for King Neptune.

Today is his birthday.

Oh, wait a minute.

King Neptune is coming here?

Oh, I’m a huge fan

of the royal family.

I just love everything they do.

(gasps)

Oh, could we please

maybe watch them eat,

right here

through the window?!

You know?

Don’t be ridiculous.

Why in

Neptune’s name

would I let you…

See Neptune eat!

Only $5.00!

Only a few seats left.

Thank you.

Do you have change for a 20?

Nope, sorry.

Guess it’s $20,

for you then.

Don’t be shy, folks.

Seats are going fast.

(loud rumbling)

(crowd gasps)

(galloping hoofbeats)

(horses neighing)

(playing fanfare)

Greetings,

my obedient flock.

(excited chatter)

You were right, honey.

Hearing these

mortals cheer for me

has made me feel

better already.

Excuse me, Mr.

Royal Sea Kingness.

Your table is

this way, sir.

(crowd murmuring)

Oh, these seats are

surprisingly comfortable

for being no more than

primitive storage vessels.

Oh, husband, I’m

so glad to see

you’re enjoying your

birthday party.

(chuckles)

Am I am glad

that you’re glad, my dear.

And I’m glad that you’re

glad that I’m glad, my king.

And I’m glad

that you’re glad

that I’m glad

that you’re glad…

CROWD:

All right already!

And methinks I shall

continue to enjoy it,

so long as there continues to be

no mention of the name…

SPONGEBOB:

Triton!

Ooh!

Triton!

Is there a Triton here?

Watch SpongeBob SquarePants

every day on Nick.

NICKELODEON

SpongeBob

SQUAREPANTS

EVERY DAY

Theme Song Transcript: SpongeBob SquarePants Intro (5/1/1999) [Closed Captioning][]

Are you ready, kids?

KIDS:

Aye, aye, Captain.

I can’t hear you.

Aye, aye, Captain!

Oh…

♪ Who lives in a pineapple

under the sea? ♪

♪ SpongeBob SquarePants! ♪

♪ Absorbent and yellow

and porous is he ♪

♪ SpongeBob SquarePants! ♪

♪ If nautical nonsense be

something you wish ♪

♪ SpongeBob SquarePants! ♪

♪ Then drop on the deck

and flop like a fish ♪

♪ SpongeBob SquarePants! ♪

Ready?

CAPTAIN & KIDS:

♪ SpongeBob SquarePants ♪

♪ SpongeBob SquarePants. ♪

(Captain laughing heartily)

SpongeBob

SQuarePaNtS

(piccolo playing)

created by

Stephen Hillenburg

(ocean waves crashing,

seagulls calling)

Episode Transcript: SpongeBob’s Last Stand (Act 1) (SpongeBob SquarePants) (transcript) (4/22/2010) [Closed Captioning][]

SPONGEBOB’S

LAST

STAND

storyboard director

Aaron Springer

written by

Aaron Springer

Steven Banks

Derek Iversen

creative director

Vincent Waller

animation directors

Andrew Overtoom

Tom Yasumi

supervising producer

Paul Tibbitt

(coughs)

Just two more minutes, Patrick.

Yep.

Look, here he comes.

Who?

(buzzing)

Thank you, Mr. Ranger.

Yeah, thanks.

(both panting)

Yes.

Aren’t you

forgetting something?

Yeah, something.

Please show me your…

jellyfishing licenses.

BOTH:

Yeah!

(whooping)

(jellyfish buzzing)

Patrick, look, I caught

a rare breed--

a glowing three-spot.

Hey, I caught one, too.

This one’s a five-spot.

(sniffs)

Patrick, guess what?

You like it here so much,

you feel yourself

being moved to a song?

Yes, yes.

How did you guess?

Well, I kind of feel

a movement coming on myself.

Let’s just start

with the song.

You mean the

jellyfishing song?

That’s the one.

(playing note)

♪ Oh… ♪

Jelly-Lelly, Lelly-Jelly ♪

♪ Jelly-Lelly, Lelly-Jelly,

♪ It’s the Jellyfishing song ♪

(snap)

♪ Jelly-Lelly, Lelly-Jelly,

Jelly-Lelly, Lelly-Jelly ♪

♪ Everyone sing along ♪

(snap)

♪ Jelly-Lelly, Lelly-Jelly,

Jelly-Lelly, Lelly-Jelly ♪

♪ It’s the Jellyfishing song ♪

(snap)

♪ Jelly-Lelly, Lelly-Jelly,

Jelly-Lelly, Lelly-Jelly ♪

♪ Everyone sing along ♪

(reggae beat)

♪ I go jellyfishin’

in da mornin’ ♪

♪ I jellyfish all de night ♪

♪ Jellyfishin’

in dah afternoon ♪

♪ Jellyfishin’ make me

feel all right ♪

♪ Jelly-Lelly, Lelly-Jelly,

Jelly-Lelly, Lelly-Jelly ♪

♪ It’s the Jellyfishing song ♪

♪ Jelly-Lelly, Lelly-Jelly,

Jelly-Lelly, Lelly-Jelly ♪

♪ Everyone sing… ♪

♪ Everyone sing along. ♪

Isn’t it great that

these majestic creatures

have Jellyfish Fields

to call their home?

You bet.

And it’s highway convenient,

too, according to that big sign.

Big sign?

I didn’t see a…

Jumping jellyfish,

that’s a big sign!

It says, “Future site

of the Shelly Superhighway.”

Superhighway?

Do you know what that means?

Yeah, it’s sort

of like other roads

except there

are no stops.

I know what a

superhighway is.

I mean for all

these jellyfish?!

For us?!

For Jellyfish Fields?!

Sorry.

So what you’re saying is that if

they go through with their plans

to build this new superhighway

through Jellyfish Fields,

that every single specie

of flora and fauna

that makes this place

their habitat

will be forced out of the

ecosystem they have formed--

effectively being destroyed?

Well, that’s a

simplified version,

but, yes, something

like that.

Which is why I hereby make

this solemn vow

to stop this so-called

Shelly Superhighway

from ever being built.

1,397…

1,398… Whoa!

Larry, you got to help

me stop the highway.

Can’t right now, bro.

I got about 4,098

more reps to do.

Mermaid Man, Barnacle Boy,

certainly with

superpowers like yours,

we can stop this

superhighway.

APATHY!!!

Hmm.

I’m sorry, SpongeBob.

I actually would like to help,

but I’m just too busy right now.

Too busy doing what?

I’m too busy

telling you…

(screaming)

no!

(whistling “Blow the Man Down”)

Private SpongeBob, ahoy.

Captain Mr. Krabs, ahoy.

Why, SpongeBob, that’s not

your usual four-fingered salute.

I guess I’m just upset because

they’re building a highway

over Jellyfish Fields.

(sniffling)

Well, SpongeBob, I’d sure

hate me customers

to see you like this.

Is there anything

I can do to help?

Really, Mr. Krabs?

Sure, why not.

Oh, Mr. Krabs, I just

know that together

we can stop that

nasty old highway

from going right through

Jellyfish Fields.

Uh, you’re not talking about

the Shelly Superhighway,

are you?

Yeah. Why?

Well, ‘cause I’m

actually in favor

of that highway

being built.

No! No!

Yes.

I’ve already calculated

how many new customers

I’ll get once it’s finished.

You can see for yourself,

this whole series of charts

and diagrams

Charts and dia… I’ve displayed.

Mr. Krabs, didn’t you see?

See what?

This.

According to this plan,

after the Shelly Superhighway

goes through Jellyfish Fields,

it goes right over

the Krusty Krab.

Hey, look, there you are--

destitute,

living in a cardboard box.

Then it does sort

of a loopy-de-loop

before going straight into the

front door of The Chum Bucket.

What?!

Who approved this plan?

“Plan approved and sponsored

by Sheldon Plankton Enterprises

a division of No Fun

Incorporated.”

Come on, lad,

let’s go give that Plankton

a piece of our minds.

Think this piece will

get the point across?

KRABS:

All right, Plankton,

it’s Eugene Krabs here

with… what’s his name.

Now come on out.

I can’t.

Come on outside and take

what’s coming to you.

I really can’t

come outside.

Why not?

Because I’m already out here,

you bumbling bottom-feeders.

Open your eyes,

for crying out loud!

Oh, sorry.

Now what’s this

all about anyway?

Don’t play coy with us,

Shelly.

We both know you’ve been

up to no good.

Now start talking.

All right, so I’ve been

stealing your mail

for the past five years.

Big whoop.

What? Not that.

You’ve been what?

We’re talking about

that new superhighway

you’re planning on building.

And in case you didn’t know,

it’s going to destroy

Jellyfish Fields.

Not to mention that

your plan is stupid

and dumb and

dumb and stupid.

Wait a minute,

you’ve been what?

Well, that certainly was an

interesting series of words

that just tumbled out

past your teeth and lips.

But frankly, my dear Sponge,

I don’t give a barnacle.

Huh?

I don’t know.

Forget it.

Even if I wanted to stop

the Shelly Superhighway

from being built,

it would be impossible.

Why?

Because the whole city

has already approved it.

See for yourself--

through this conveniently

timed flashback.

(excited chatter)

Order, order,

order in the meeting hall.

Now, all those in favor

of paving over Jellyfish Fields

and building

the Shelly Superhighway,

raise your right fin

and say, “Aye.”

ALL:

Aye.

Everybody else

just sit there quietly.

I like highways.

I like things

that are super.

And I like saying “aye.”

Oh, why did I say “aye”?

Seems as though

the ayes have it.

Now if you’ll excuse me,

I’ve got superhighway

preparations to be attending to.

Toodles.

What are we going

to do now, Mr. Krabs?

Well, I’m gonna do the only

thing I can do

when me character is tested

by insurmountable odds--

lie on me back and sob loudly.

Normally, Mr. Krabs, I would lie

on my back and sob loudly too,

but I am not giving up.

There’s still one citizen

of Bikini Bottom

who won’t sit still in the face

of this outrageous injustice.

BOTH:

♪ Chum bucket! Sludge bucket!

Highway fly away! ♪

♪ Lily liver! Pizza giver!

mashed potato, kelp tomato! ♪

♪ All we are trying to say ♪

♪ Is give Jellyfish Fields

a chance ♪

♪ Ketchup bottle!

Net and goggle! ♪

♪ Toll booth! Rotten tooth! ♪

Toast and jam! ♪

♪ Freeway plan!

♪ Mermaid Man! Garbage can! ♪

♪ Citrus fruit! Combat boot! ♪

♪ Give a hoot!

Gorilla suit! ♪

♪ All we are trying to say ♪

♪ Is give Jellyfish Fields

a chance ♪

♪ Plankton’s eye,

ham on rye! ♪

♪ Larry’s thigh! Battle cry! ♪

♪ Mustard squirt!

Long-sleeved shirt! ♪

Hit the dirt! ♪

♪ Krusty Krab!

Smash-n-grab! ♪

♪ Barg’N-Mart!

Grocery cart! ♪

♪ All we are trying to say ♪

♪ Is give Jellyfish Fields

a chance ♪

♪ C.E.O.s! Gary’s toes! ♪

♪ Squidward’s nose!

Panty hose ♪

♪ Rocking chair!

Wash ‘n wear! ♪

♪ Empty stare!

Patrick’s hair! ♪

♪ Green trees! Sandy’s fleas! ♪

♪ Rise ‘n’ shine!

Lemon lime! ♪

♪ Outta time!

Squiggly line! ♪

♪ Take a stand!

Hand-in-hand! ♪

♪ All we are trying to say ♪

♪ Is give Jellyfish Fields

a chance. ♪

(booing)

It’s working, Patrick.

They’re booing the highway.

Looks like our message

has really started

getting through

to the people.

Let’s play another song

while their hearts are open.

Hey, wait a minute.

This is one of our fliers.

They’re pelting us

with our own pamphlets.

What does it mean?

I couldn’t tell you.

I’ll tell you

what it means.

It means this.

It means you hate tambourines?

No, it means…

All right. You guys

the highway haters?

Yes, but

with good reason, sir.

You see,

without Jellyfish Fields,

jellyfish will have

to find a new home and--

All right, you two.

You’re under arrest.

What for?

Unlicensed use

of a sitar.

But my grandma

gave me this sitar.

It didn’t come

with a license.

Yeah, well,

neither did this.

(chanting):

Highway, highway,

highway, highway,

highway,

highway, highway,

highway!

(all cheering)

(shutter clicking)

Patrick, I’m scared.

SpongeBob, I’ll never forget

what my Great Uncle Cletus said

right before he was arrested

during a freedom march.

What was that?

It’s where a bunch of people

go walking down the street--

I know what a freedom

march is, Patrick.

I mean, “What

did he say?”

Oh.

(chuckles)

He said, “Let’s not your heart

walk away from you,

lest your mind grow legs

and follow it.”

Wow. Your uncle sounds like

a pretty smart guy, Patrick.

What happened to him

after he was arrested?

I don’t know.

He was never heard from again.

See you later,

longhairs.

BOTH:

Bye!

It’s a wig. See you later!

Thanks for the lift!

They left us in the

middle of nowhere!

Well, this isn’t

the middle of Nowhere.

We’re actually right

on the edge of Nowhere.

Well, at least

it isn’t raining.

Episode Transcript: SpongeBob’s Last Stand (Act 2) (SpongeBob SquarePants) (transcript) (4/22/2010) [Closed Captioning][]

I’m not ready to

give up just yet!

I am!

If we could just come up with a

better way to reach the people.

Something everybody

can see and hear.

You mean, like a parade?

Oh, a parade!

Patrick, how did you come up

with such a brilliant idea?

There’s one going

by right there.

(band plays upbeat tune)

(whip cracking)

(bagpipes playing)

(slide whistle blowing)

(singers harmonizing)

That certainly

is a parade.

(gasps): Plankton! Look!

Driving a big tractor.

This doesn’t look good

at all, Patrick.

Does this?

(strained groaning)

Come on.

Let’s go follow them!

(band plays)

People of Bikini Bottom,

(all muttering)

Did you hear that?

I’m hearing the voices again.

Look! Up there!

Today marks a new…

(all murmuring)

Stop murmuring!

PLANKTON:

Thank you.

As I was saying,

today marks

the beginning of a new…

ALL:

♪ For ♪

♪ He’s a jolly good fellow ♪

♪ For he’s a jolly good fellow,

for he’s-- ♪

Shut up! Huh? What?

Today marks a new beginning

for Bikini Bottom!

(all cheering)

Now it’s time to pave our way

down the road to success.

(band playing, truck rumbling)

(cheering)

(buzzing)

(cheering)

(laughing)

(sniffs)

I love the smell

of hot tar in the morning.

Yeah, baby!

(laughs)

Hey, you there.

Are you trying

to get yourself crushed?

I won’t let you

do it, Plankton!

If you’re going to pave

over Jellyfish Fields,

you’re going

to have to pave

over me first!

(eyelids squishing)

(eyelids squish)

(buzzing):

Huh?

Ooh, your wish is my command,

Sponge!

(engine revs)

Is that all you got?

(band playing)

(buzzing)

(trumpet playing)

Knock it off, Patrick.

(engines roaring)

We used to dream

of me restaurant

having easy

highway access.

Yeah, but this is more

like highway excess.

Well, I’m going to go

soak my tentacles.

It’s cold in here under

all this concrete.

But, Squidward,

you can’t leave.

What if we have a customer?

Really?

We haven’t

had a customer

since the day this

highway was built.

Uh, Squidward, it’s

technically a superhighway.

I don’t care what it

is! I’m out of here!

But Squidward!

No. No, SpongeBob.

Squidward’s right.

I think it’s high time

we started accepting facts.

I’m on it, Mr. Krabs.

No, boyo. Not that kind.

Mr. Krabs, what are you saying?

The Krusty Krab

can’t stay in business.

It can’t? Not like this.

No, SpongeBob.

It’s time to activate

Plan “zed dash niner niner.”

Zed dash niner niner?!

(screams, horn blows)

Eugene, what is Plan

“zed dash niner niner”?

And more importantly,

how does it affect me?

Plan “zed dash niner niner”

is…

(horn honking)

I’m…

(horns honking)

I’m…

(honking continues)

I’m sending the Krabby Patty

secret formula to Plankton!

Eugene.

I have no choice.

And stop calling me “Eugene.”

Tell me that

I’m dreaming.

Oh…

Not this time,

little fella.

(sobbing)

(moans)

Lower.

A little lower.

Yeah. That’s it.

(knocking at door)

Now, who could that be

during my hour of triumph?

How appropriate.

(laughs)

Plankton, I’m ready to negotiate

a price for me secret formula.

Oh, goody.

Let me just wind my watch.

What for?

‘Cause I’m gonna love

every minute of this.

(buzzing)

Did you hear that?

Karen, is that you? Up there!

(rumbling)

Whoa, Nelly.

First I lost

Jellyfish Fields.

And-And…

(spluttering)

And what?

And now I’ve lost

the only job I ever wanted!

(sobbing)

Look at it this way.

I don’t have

to see you every day now.

Oh, this really could be the

start of something beautiful.

Ow! (buzzing)

What in the name of--

Squidward, look!

What am I looking--

(screams)

All the jellyfish who used

to live in Jellyfish Fields

are coming to Bikini Bottom.

Yeah, but for some reason,

I don’t think

it’s to distribute

holiday gift baskets!

Oh, you don’t?

(all screaming)

Hey, You know, Plankton,

Let’s just talk

about this later.

I think I’m just going

to run for me life.

Wait! I’m coming with you!

(grunts)

No!

(buzzing)

Not the eye.

Not the eye!

Chaos runs rampant

in Bikini Bottom.

That’s right, folks.

This is news reporter

Ben Glenney

standing in for Perch Perkins

who’s out today with

a terrible case of indigestion.

And we are coming

to you live during day three

of what appears

to be Bikini Bottom’s worst--

Am I on television?

Uh, yes, sir.

You are.

Would you care to say

a few words about---

Hi, Mom. Hi, Dad.

Hey, Dr. Slean.

Hey, Jennifer.

Hey, Sally.

Hey, Francis.

Hey, Mabel.

Hey, Julie.

Hey, Abigail.

(panting)

(gasps)

Now they’ll have to listen.

And there’s my

pals in El Tuna,

and the gang at

the Pudgy Flipper.

Thank you.

Hello, little boy.

How about saying

a few words into the camera

about the current crisis?

Um, okay. Sorry. I’m

a little nervous.

(screaming)

That’s understandable.

Just talk nice and clear.

Well, okay, I guess.

All I have to say

is that, um…

that probably…

Stop the madness!

We need to give Jellyfish Fields

back to the jellyfish!

If we restore

their natural habitat,

then they will go in peace

and balance will once again

be restored to our land!

So, what do you say, everybody?

Will you help me?

ALL:

No!

You’re kidding, right?

ALL:

Yes!

Well, all right!

Everybody, follow me.

(cheering)

Okay, everyone.

Say good-bye to the worst thing

to happen to this town

since 97 cent stores.

(cheering)

(metal clangs)

(all gasp, Plankton laughs)

Good effort, Sponge Dope.

But you can’t

tear up my highway.

It’s indestructible!

Not if we have

anything to do with it.

Larry Lobster!

That’s right, pal.

But that’s not all.

SPONGEBOB:

Sandy Squirrel.

(all cheer)

Mrs. Puff!

(all cheer)

Mermaid Man

and Barnacle Boy!

(all cheer)

Patrick!

(all cheer)

Soo, soo, soo!

(all cheer)

And Squidward!

Nope. That’s everybody.

Push!

(grunting)

Harder!

(all grunting)

Harder still!

You heard

the little square guy!

ALL:

Yeah!

(all grunting)

Wait! I didn’t count on all

of you working together.

My highway!

Stop! You can’t!

(all cheering)

Praise Neptune.

♪ Jelly-Lelly, Lelly-Jelly,

Jelly-Lelly, Lelly-Jelly ♪

♪ It’s the Jellyfishing song ♪

♪ Jelly-Lelly, Lelly-Jelly,

Jelly-Lelly, Lelly-Jelly ♪

♪ Everyone sing along ♪

(all snap)

♪ Jelly-Lelly, Lelly-Jelly,

Jelly-Lelly, Lelly-Jelly ♪

♪ It’s the Jellyfishing song ♪

(jellyfish snap)

♪ Jelly-Lelly, Lelly-Jelly,

Jelly-Lelly, Lelly-Jelly ♪

♪ Everyone sing… ♪

Everyone sing along.

Episode Transcript: Pet or Pests (SpongeBob SquarePants) (transcript) (3/18/2009) [Closed Captioning][]

PET

or

PESTS

storyboard director

Aaron Springer

written by

Aaron Springer

Richard Pursel

creative director

Vincent Waller

animation director

Andrew Overtoom

supervising producer

Paul Tibbitt

(grunting)

Okay, SpongeBob, it’s your turn.

I’m ready!

Okay, Patrick, here I come!

Whoa!

Nice landing!

(grunting)

Darn, I missed.

SpongeBob, look out for my body!

(screaming)

Patrick, maybe we should

play something

that involves less thinking.

Okay.

Hey, maybe we can

play a game

with this ball that

was buried under here.

Ball!

Let me see it.

What a weird ball.

Well, who knows

how long it…

Oh, Mother of Neptune!

Get it away from me,

get it away from me!

There’s nothing to be

afraid of, SpongeBob.

It’s just a little worm.

See?

You’re right, Patrick.

I’m sorry we destroyed

your nest, little worm.

I promise it won’t

happen again.

Look, Patrick.

Looks like he’s taken

a fancy to you.

Yeah. Hey!

Why don’t we invite Mr. Wormsley

to stay at my place?

At least until

his nest grows back.

That sounds delightful.

Gary!

Make yourself decent!

(chuckles)

You have a visitor.

(distantly):

Gary, wake up!

That’s right, just

bring him in here.

Careful, careful now.

That’s right.

(meows)

Oh, hi, Gary.

Are you ready to meet

your new friend?

(meowing):

No.

That’s right.

Say hello to

Mr. Wormsley.

(hissing)

(barking)

(hissing and barking)

Something tells me they

don’t like each other.

Come on now, guys, come on.

Let’s touch soft parts

in a friendly manner.

(growling)

See, you’re just saying hi.

That’s it, there you go.

That’s it.

Oh, I knew you

could get along.

There, there you go.

See, friends.

(crunching) Oh!

Oh, my goodness!

Patrick, oh!

Oh, Patrick,

please do something!

(screaming)

Uh, SpongeBob,

I gotta get going.

I’ll check in on you later and

see how your new pet is doing.

Okay? Okay, Patrick.

See you la-- Oh, get it off me!

Somebody please!

All right, Gary.

Just so there isn’t

anymore upset,

I’m gonna ask that you sleep

on the guest newspaper tonight

and Mr. Wormsley is gonna be

sleeping in here with me.

(growling)

Now, now, Gary.

There’s no need for protest.

See, I fixed it up

all nice for you.

There you are.

Night, Gar.

(meows)

(distant howling)

(howling continues)

Oh, sounds like

Patrick is having

one of his night fits again.

I’ll just close the window.

(howling)

Mr. Wormsley?!

(howling)

Whoa! I’ll be right back,

Mr. Wormsley.

I’m gonna go get help.

Whatever’s wrong

with you, don’t move!

Just, uh, read the sports

section or something.

He’s in here.

No, I can’t look!

SpongeBob? Yes?

Something tells me

Mr. Wormsley

is actually

a Mrs. Wormsley.

(squeaking)

Oh, Patrick, it’s a miracle!

That it is.

Wait till Gary sees.

Yeah, wait till…

See, Gar, they’re

right in here.

Quiet, now.

They were born less than…

(meows)

(both growling)

Looks like they’re still

not quite used to each other.

Well, these things take time.

(growling)

(both):

Duck and cover!

(hissing and barking)

This town is getting

too rough for me.

(meowing)

He’s chased her away.

Now who will care

for her abandoned

litter of adorable

newborn infants?

Well, maybe you can

take care of them.

Oh, no way, Patrick.

I’ve never seen Gary that upset.

Ga-- who?

Nope, you and I are just

gonna have to find loving homes

for each and every one

of these little guys.

Right, Patrick?

(door slams)

Patrick?

Don’t worry, little guys.

Squidward’s a really

good friend of mine

and he really likes pets.

SpongeBob, what

are you doing here?

Don’t you know that

it’s 7:00 in the morning?

Squidward, I came here

with a special surprise.

Don’t you know that

it’s 7:00 in the morning?

How would you like to have

your very own pet baby worm?!

Don’t you know that’s it’s--

a what?

Baby worm. See?

Aren’t they just

adorable at that age?

So, how many did you want?

(doorbell buzzing)

Yes?

Oh, it’s you, SpongeBob.

What are you

uh, doing here? (buzzing continues)

And not that the teacher’s

most enthusiastic student

isn’t welcome in her house.

(doorbell continues buzzing)

(buzzing)

(sighs)

(buzzing stops)

Good morning, Mrs. Puff.

It almost was.

Would you like a baby worm?

A what?

(screaming)

Uh, I’ll just come back

later, Mrs. Puff.

Have a nice day!

I hate Mondays.

Don’t worry, little worms.

I know a place

we can go to find homes

for every single one of you.

Good morning, ma’am.

How are you today?

Could I interest you in some…

Ma’am?

(whistling)

That whistling,

it’s Larry Lobster.

Hi, Larry.

What you up to?

Do I know you?

Probably not.

I was just picking up

some dietary supplements

here at the supermarket.

I’ve been working on

my chest… and buns.

So I see.

Well, catch you later.

Oh, Larry, wait.

No time now.

Somewhere, there’s sand

that needs kicking.

Okay, I was just gonna

see if you wanted

one of these poor,

lonely, baby worms.

Baby worms? Well, yeah.

I’ll take them off your hands.

Really?

Sure, why not?

That’s just what the

nutritionist ordered.

Raw protein!

Larry, no!

Dude, nice hustle.

(squeaking and whimpering)

(screaming)

(babbling)

(inhaling and grunting)

(yelling)

(whimpering)

(grunting)

Oh, little wormies,

I’m so glad you’re safe.

Now, let’s go see about finding

you those homes I promised.

(phone ringing)

Hello?

SpongeBob, it’s Mr. Krabs.

I’ve been looking

all over for you.

You’re three hours

late for work!

(screaming)

Hello?

I’m sorry, Mr. Krabs,

I came as quick as I could.

SpongeBob, are you sure

you’re feeling shipshape?

(panting and whimpering)

I’m sorry, Mr. Krabs.

My pet worm had babies

and got chased away.

Now I gotta find them all

a place to live.

Babies?

Yeah.

Really? Let me see.

Yeah, come on,

let me see them.

I like babies.

Well, okay.

Hey there, little critters.

Come to…

Oh, he likes you!

Get that disgusting vermin

out of me restaurant, pronto!

(sobbing)

Blech!

Oh, well, at least

I still have you guys.

(sniffing)

Hmm…

(sniffing)

What is it?

I’d recognize this goo anywhere.

It comes from a baby spotted

glistening meadow worm.

The rarest of its species.

Dude, those things

are worth a fortune.

Did you say fortune?

$5.99, that’s right,

get them while they last.

Don’t be shy, folks.

These things are so cute!

Enjoy your new home, little guy.

Isn’t he just adorable?

(crowd cheering)

That sure was a great idea

you had, Mr. Krabs.

Well, it’s like they always say

back in the Old Country, lad.

What’s that?

I don’t know. I’ve never

been to the Old Country!

(laughing)

Episode Transcript: Komputer Overload (SpongeBob SquarePants) (transcript) (3/19/2009) [Closed Captioning][]

KOMPUTER

OVERLOAD

storyboard director

Aaron Springer

written by

Aaron Springer

Richard Pursel

creative director

Vincent Waller

animation director

Alan Smart

supervising producer

Paul Tibbitt

PLANKTON:

Oh, come on, Karen, please!

Well, if you must know…

There’s nothing wrong

with Chum Bucket fare.

Why, look!

Here’s a fresh batch of a

delicious new chum sauce.

It’s called spicy chum surprise.

Uh…

(sizzling)

Delectable!

Oh, I’m sure it’ll be

a huge success.

(alarm blaring)

Sorry, no time

for your senseless chatter.

I’ve got a customer

to attend to.

Okay, so,

what about the Krabby Cola?

We don’t serve Krabby Cola.

We carry Bucket Bubbler

and Chum Cherry Blast.

Okay, well, then

can I just make sure

I get those Krabby fries

with extra Krabby sauce?

(sighing)

How many times must I say it?

We don’t carry Krabby fries,

we don’t carry Krabby Cola,

we don’t carry Krabby sauce

and we don’t carry

Krabby patties!

So, if you want

any of those things,

you’re gonna have to go

to the Krusty Krab

which is located

directly across the street.

Thanks for the directions.

Anytime.

What is wrong with people?!

Honestly, I don’t think

anyone in Bikini Bottom

would know a decent meal if

it looked them right in the eye

and said,

“Hello, I’m a decent meal.

“Wonderful to meet you.

“Please pay money for me

and then put me in your mouth

“so your old pal Plankton

doesn’t lose everything

“he spent his entire life

working for!”

Yeah, and if anyone ever

did order one of your meals,

it probably would

look them in the eye.

You know, Karen,

sometimes I wonder

if you’re here to help me

run the Chum Bucket

or just to make me feel

like I’m two inches tall.

Maybe in heels.

If it wasn’t for me,

you probably wouldn’t even

remember to blink.

Oh, come on!

When we first met,

you were little more

than a jumbled mass

of diodes and wires.

I made you what you are today.

Literally!

So, don’t think you couldn’t

be replaced in a heartbeat.

Ow!

What’s the matter?

My eye is burning

and I don’t know why.

Blink.

Oh, yeah, thanks

for reminding me.

Now, where was I?

You were threatening

to replace me.

Oh, yeah, I don’t need you!

I could make a whole army

of computers

that might actually

help me steal the formula.

Oh, please.

I’ll show you, woman!

PLANKTON:

Oh, Karen?!

(love theme playing)

Now what?

Could you come here

for a moment?

What do you want?

Feast your, uh, screen on this.

That’s my replacement?

It’s a toaster.

(laughing)

That, my dear,

is a T119-A Comp-u-matic.

The finest of its kind.

Good morning, sir.

Good morning, T119-A.

They’re supposed to do that.

Next, behold the Noxious

Enterprises Super SPU31--

liquid cooled mobile

processing unit,

a mind-staggering combination

of both power and refinement.

That’ll help you

get the formula.

And now, Karen,

the pièce de résistance.

Have you ever witnessed

such marvelous machinery?

It sort of just looks like

an old hair dryer

taped to the back

of a miniature windmill.

I could see how

someone at your level

of technical knowledge

would think that, Karen.

But in actuality, what

you are looking at is…

Oh, right.

I don’t recall you

ever having reason

to own a hair dryer, Plankton.

Okay, here we go.

Are you gonna make me get

the picture down again?

What picture?

You see?

Plenty of reason to be

using a hair dryer.

Why are we even

talking about this?

Because you were

the one who said…

(explosion)

What’s going on?

Dear Neptune!

Karen, do something!

Quick, they’re tearing

each other apart!

Just press a button

or something!

Not that one!

(alarm blaring)

(screaming)

Well, it’s good to see that

strategy didn’t fall flat.

You know, Karen,

with you around,

I’m beginning to wonder

how I’m still alive.

Oh, so, it’s my fault, is it?

That’s right!

Now it’s all clear!

It’s you who’ve been

holding me back!

In fact, if it weren’t

for your constant stifling,

I’d have the whole world running

for the safety of their mommies!

You and your crack team

of robots, huh?

Maybe I could iron out

a few bugs.

But then you’ll see

just how much I need you.

Karen?

What’s this?

It’s words on paper.

It says, “Dear, Plankton,

“I’ve logged

onto another network.

“I just can’t go

into sleep mode at night

“knowing that you’ll

continue blaming me

“for all of your failures.

“Anyway, you’re a grown

single-celled organism

“and allowed to make

your own syntax errors.

Nice knowing you, Karen.”

Dah, who needs her?

Not me!

I’m gonna steal

that Krabby Patty formula

from Mr. Krabs once and for all.

And then we’ll see

who’s made the error.

(evil laughter)

(laughing)

Ow!

“P.S. Don’t forget to blink.”

Oh, yeah.

Okay, team, listen up.

We’re on our own now,

so we don’t have anything

holding us back.

Now, I know you all

look upon me kindly

since I am your creator,

but the last thing

the Chum Bucket needs,

if we’re gonna be victorious,

is a bunch of

soft, uh, software.

Does everybody understand?

(gurgling)

(dinging)

I said, does everybody

understand?!

(blowing)

All right, then, let’s do this!

T119-A to position.

SPU31 to position.

Command module to position!

(laughing)

New, let’s see Krab stop this.

I’ll show him.

I’ll show them all!

(laughing)

This just in,

a diabolical albeit

haphazardly

thrown together machine

is attacking Bikini Bottom

and is headed straight

for the Krusty Krab!

Why is the local news

always such rubbish?

Hey, Squidward, look.

I finally figured out

a way to get my mop wet

without dipping it

in the bucket.

SpongeBob, nobody

cares about…

(thumping)

(laughing)

(cackling)

Ah, hey!

PLANKTON:

Krabs, I want to see you!

Oh, okay, boy,

get out there.

Um, hello.

What do you want,

robot thing, sir?

Oh, hey, Plankton.

What are you doing here?

I’m here for the secret

formula, you twit.

I want you to go in there

and tell Krabs that if he

doesn’t turn over

the formula to me,

he will be subjected

to utter annihilation

at my-- are you getting this?

(gasps) Hmm-mm.

Ah, moron!

Okay, I’ll make it simple.

Krabs, give me secret formula

or I bring big boom boom

to Krusty Krab.

Got it?

“Krabs, give me

secret formula or…”

What was that other thing?

Ah, forget it!

Bring on the boom boom!

(laughing)

Battle stations, men!

Here he comes!

We’re all doomed,

we’re all doomed!

We’re all doomed,

we’re all doomed!

Doom, doom,

doom-doom-doom!

We’re all doomed,

we’re all doomed, we’re all

doomed, we’re all doomed!

Later.

(maniacal laughter)

(laughing)

(whirring stops)

Hey, what gives?

(laughing)

(SpongeBob and Krabs laughing)

(fizzing and clattering)

(sobbing)

Oh, curse you, cruel fate!

Once again,

you’ve left me covered

in the sticky goo

of my own folly.

Only this time, I’m all alone.

(sobbing)

(clearing “throat”)

Karen!

You’ve come back to me!

Actually, I just came

to get my keyboard.

Oh, I knew you couldn’t

stay away, I knew it!

(sighs) Right, let me guess,

another failure?

What are you gonna do?

Machines these days, right?

Uh, listen, sweetie,

I’m sorry about what I said.

Truth is, I could never

replace you, honey bunch.

Let’s go home, huh?

(sighs)

Okay.

Hey, I can whip us up a little

dinner, what do you say?

Want me to leave you again?

Or we could go out!

(gritting teeth):

It’ll be fun, too.

Episode Transcript: Gullible Pants (SpongeBob SquarePants) (transcript) (6/5/2009) [Closed Captioning][]

GuLLibLe

Pants

storyboard directors

Luke Brookshier

Nate Cash

written by

Luke Brookshier

Nate Cash

Derek Iversen

creative director

Vincent Waller

animation director

Alan Smart

supervising producer

Paul Tibbitt

MR. KRABS:

451, 452, 453, 454,

455,

456-- Ow!

(groans forcefully)

(whimpering)

Oh…

I split me nail.

Oh, that looks terrible.

(dial tone hums)

(line rings)

Hello?

Guinevere, it’s an emergency.

(indistinct chattering on line)

No, I haven’t been biting them.

No. Can you just schedule me in?

(indistinct chattering)

Now?

A manicure in

the middle of the day?

But what if the guys see me?

(indistinct chattering)

Yes, I want my nails

to look their best.

I’ll be right there.

(hangs up)

(rapid footsteps)

(sonar beeps)

(snoring)

Ahoy, sir. Whoa!

Where are you going?

Uh…

(chuckles)

It’s, uh…

It’s a secret.

(gasps)

You have a secret?

Everybody’s got a secret,

SpongeBob.

And mine’s going

to take 15 minutes.

Maybe 20 if she can

spruce up me cuticles.

Aye aye, sir.

And who will be in charge

while you’re gone?

Eh…

(snoring)

MR. KRABS:

Well, not Squidward.

Don’t know him.

Too lumpy.

(heavenly music plays)

Okay, okay.

You’re in charge.

What?

You’re in charge.

For the next 15 minutes.

I’m in charge?

Yeah. Sure. Why not?

(hums anxiously)

You okay, boy?

(whining)

(shouts happily)

(triumphant music plays)

I won’t let you down, sir.

Ah, sheesh. I’ll be back

in 15 minutes.

(snoring)

(clears throat)

(gasps)

Oh, what the…

Nap time’s over,

Squidward.

Now, what do you say

we work real hard

until Mr. Krabs comes back, hmm?

Krabs is gone?

Yup. And I’m in charge

for the next 15 minutes.

Wow.

(giggles)

Yeah, I’m kind of

a big deal around here.

I guess that’s why Krabs

put me in charge.

Charge.

♪ Charge. ♪

Wake me up when I care.

Do you care now?

No.

(slurping through straw)

(gasps)

Everything is under control,

people.

Go back to your Krabby Patties.

Nothing a temporary man

in charge can’t handle.

Squidward?

(snoring, murmuring)

Squidward. (mutters)

Squidward. Squidward.

Squid. Squid.

(bell rings, glass shatters)

Squidward. Squid. What?!

Well, it’s just

that I’m in charge and…

(growling)

(bell rings)

And you interrupted

my regularly scheduled

Krusty Krab nap?

Regularly scheduled nap?

This must be important.

Mr. Krabs has never interrupted

one of these before.

But being as you’re Really?

the “man in charge,”

you must have your reasons.

Well, I… Um…

What is it?

Um… Nothing.

Carry on.

Boy, there sure is a lot

of procedural-type stuff

I don’t know

about the Krusty Krab.

Ha!

(bell dinging)

Order up, Squidward!

You know,

I’ll let you serve this one.

My stories are on.

Gosh, I’d love to, Squidward,

but I’ve got

to cook the patties.

So, do it when you’re done.

And unclog the sink.

Hmm. Would you like

to hear a secret?

What kind of secret?

See that guy

over there?

Yes.

He wants to

be a fry cook

and you’re

his hero.

Me?

Why don’t you give him

a couple of pointers?

Let him cook

his own patty.

And don’t take

no for an answer.

He’s shy.

(laughing)

This’ll be good.

Hey, buddy.

Yeah, it’s me.

SpongeBob--

fry cook extraordinaire.

Uh, hello.

I know your secret.

What? Who told you?

Oh, a little

cashier told me.

Follow me.

Yeah, whatever you say, man.

Moron.

Bet you didn’t think

you’d be in here today,

No. did you?

First off, this

is my grill.

This is where the

magic happens.

And this is my

actual spatula.

So start frying

up some patties.

I’ll check on you later,

my little prodigy.

(laughing)

SpongeBob will believe anything.

(laughing)

SpongeBob! Order number 12!

What are you doing?

Taking out an order.

You’re serving Krabby Patties

with your hands?

Do you know how filthy

your hands are?

(gasps)

They are?

But your feet,

however,

are nice and clean.

Think about it.

They’ve been protected by

your shoes and socks all day.

Oh.

It’s all clear to me now.

One Krabby Meal

served with

extra-sanitary

foot service.

(flies buzzing)

Your hot, steaming,

juicy Krabby Patty

and a large drink.

Enjoy.

Hey, is my food

here yet?

Here, you can

have mine.

Delivery. (snoring)

(gasps)

What? What?

Here’s the supplies

you ordered.

Ow.

Sign here.

Hey. My pen.

Oops. Sorry.

(exclaims)

♪ It’s here, it’s here,

it’s here, it’s here ♪

(vocalizing)

♪ It’s here. ♪

SpongeBob, what is

all this junk?

Now that I’m “in charge,”

I’ve decided to redecorate

the Krusty Krab.

I’m going to make it all pretty.

Yeah, have fun with that.

(singsong):

Oh, Squidward.

(grunts) I’m in charge,

so you’ll be having

all the fun.

Doing what?

Painting the walls,

buffing the tables,

sewing pretty curtains,

washing the windows,

varnishing the stools,

hanging the ferns,

washing the toilets--

oh, you lucky dog!

(groaning)

Hey, SpongeBob,

do you want to hear

another Krusty Krab secret?

Huh?!

Another Krusty Krab secret?

Yup. Do you want to know

how Mr. Krabs gets

all these customers?

Yes.

Low expectations.

What’s that?

He keeps the place a dump,

so the food seems even better

by comparison.

So, if you want

to impress Mr. Krabs,

you make it more filthy.

“More filthy”?

Throw trash on the floors,

break furniture,

and never clean anything.

Sounds like

the Chum Bucket.

Ah, but you’ll be

doing it on purpose.

Oh!

How’s this, Squidward?

Looking good.

(slurping)

You mean,

looking bad.

Enjoy our fine decor.

Next time, I’m picking

the restaurant.

(sloshing)

One Krusty Krab,

covered in mud and slime.

(slurping)

You missed a spot.

Oh.

Got it!

Gum under all tables.

How’s that for low expectations?

Lower.

Initiating stage two:

collateral damage.

How is that?

(exclaims) Perfect.

This place is disgusting.

Yeah, let’s get

out of here,

just as soon as I finish

this delicious Krabby Patty.

(chomping)

(customers chattering angrily)

Squidward, all the

customers are leaving.

What did we talk about?

Don’t touch the material.

If you the customers

to stay,

you need to provide

some entertainment.

Oh, can-do, Squidward!

Can-do!

Come on, let’s go.

Wait!

You don’t want to miss this.

(grunting)

What’s he doing?

He’s dancing!

(vocalizing)

Okay, people,

just back away slowly.

(sighs)

There’s nothing like

polished pincers

to make you feel like a man.

(cackling)

Let’s see how SpongeBob’s

doing as acting manager.

What the…?

SpongeBob dancing

like a goofball?

And a hey! And a ho!

And a hey and a ho!

And a hey, ho, how-ho,

he-ho, ha, ho!

Me customers cowering in fear?

(shuddering):

Help us.

The Krusty Krab a filthy mess?!

Order number 20

ready for pickup.

And some stranger cooking

Krabby Patties?!

(snoring)

Squidward

sleeping on the job!

Okay, that’s actually normal.

SpongeBob!

What have you done

to me Krusty Krab?!

I was just following

Squidward’s advice, Mr. Krabs.

He told me all your secrets.

All me secrets?

(chuckles)

So is there anything

else I can do for you,

Acting Manager SpongeBob?

Ah! Guinevere!

(Squidward snoring)

(SpongeBob grunting)

Episode Transcript: Overbooked (SpongeBob SquarePants) (transcript) (7/19/2009) [Closed Captioning][]

OVERBOOKED

storyboard directors

Casey Alexander

Zeus Cervas

written by

Casey Alexander

Zeus Cervas

Derek Iversen

creative director

Vincent Waller

animation director

Tom Yasumi

supervising producer

Paul Tibbitt

(snoring)

(ringing)

(screams)

(sighs)

Hello.

Hey, SpongeBob, how’s it going?

Oh, hiya, Sandy.

Hey, listen, I was wondering

if you could come by tonight.

Sure. What’s up?

I whipped up a new invention

that I’m gonna unveil tonight

in front of my comrades,

and I need you

to be my test subject.

I will be there.

You’re not gonna

forget, are ya?

Of course not.

Have I ever let

you down before?

Hello?

Just be here!

With Gary as my witness,

I will not let you down,

Miss Cheeks.

I won’t let Sandy down.

(grunting)

How the barnacles do you

put this thing together?

I won’t let

Sandy down.

I won’t let Sandy down.

Morning, Captain.

I won’t let Sandy down.

I won’t let Sandy down-down.

I won’t let Sandy down.

Right after work, I’m going

straight over to Sandy’s

who I’m not gonna let down.

Boy!

Yes, sir?

I’ve got a special assignment

for ya.

This is a build-it-yourself

telescope.

The only problem is

I can’t figure out

how to put

the darn thing together.

That’s where you come in.

“Telescope assembly manual.”

Now read this

cover-to-cover

and be prepared

to put this thing together

at my house tonight.

Tonight?

That’s not gonna be

a problem, is it?

Um, well, actually…

Excellent because

I was looking

at your annual

employee report card

and it appears

the “Does a Laborious Task

for Supervisor” box

has not been checked.

(gasps)

See ya tonight.

Oh, what am I gonna do?

You can do it!

You made the commitments,

you’ll have to honor them--

both of them.

PATRICK:

Who you talking to, buddy?

(gasps)

Oh, hiya, Patrick.

What are you

doing back here?

Well, sorry to disturb you

during work hours,

but I just wanted to remind

you about my birthday.

No need to remind me.

I wouldn’t forget my

best buddy’s birthday.

Then why aren’t you saying

the words?

What words?

Happy birthday.

It’s today!

My birthday’s today!

And you surely must remember

what you’re supposed

to bring to my birthday, right?

My birthday cake! Uh…

You’re supposed

to bring my birthday cake!

Yes, tonight! Tonight?

What else am I gonna

celebrate it?!

At least I had the courtesy

to start my party

after my best friend

got off work.

See ya tonight…

buddy.

Oh, Neptune! This is worse

than I ever could have imagined!

(whistle blows)

Right! Time to be

all I can be!

(all chatting)

MAN:

String theory…

Man, these people

sure look sciencey.

Sandy must be pulling out

all the stops for this one.

Hey, Sandy,

whatcha doing?

Oh, hey, SpongeBob.

Just putting

the finishing touches

of my new invention.

Thanks for assisting me.

You’re such

a big help.

No wonder Mr. Krabs

relies on you so heavily.

I gotta help Mr. Krabs!

Hey, uh, Sandy,

I gotta run to the

uh, uh, gent’s room.

Now if I finish up

with Mr. Krabs,

that’ll free me up

to assist Sandy.

(knocking)

SpongeBob!

I knew I wouldn’t

have to fire ya.

You can rely

on me, sir.

I wouldn’t want

to jeopardize

my employee record.

(laughs nervously)

Okay, let’s see

what we got here.

Oh, it says here on page 472,

section C-17

that you need a right-angled

motorized hex drill

to assemble this thing.

Really? Why don’t you

head into town

and pick up one of those

hex-drill dealies?

I…

Or you can sit there

and watch me fill out

your employee report card.

(panting)

(gasps)

Huh?

(reading)

Dear Valued

TOM’S TOOLERY

Customers

we are closed

this week in

observance of

PORPOiSE DAY

Please call again

“Please call again.”

Barnacles! Where can I find

a motorized hex drill now?

Just finishing up here.

Sandy!

Uh, oh, hey, Patrick.

What are you

doing in town?

I was just buying some

birthday hats

for my birthday party.

You didn’t forget

my party, did you?

Forget? How can I forget

my best buddy’s

birthday party, huh?

Well, you already forgot

one thing.

(chuckles nervously)

No, I haven’t. Have I?

Hello?

My birthday cake!

Oh, yeah, that!

I’m just getting to that.

That’s why I was here

in town, yeah.

Forget your birthday cake.

You’re hilarious,

Star, you really are.

Now you just go home

and I’m gonna go get your cake,

you silly guy, you.

Hi. I need

a birthday cake.

This is what I got.

Sorry

about the

Scabies

(SpongeBob reading)

Can you change it to say,

“Happy Birthday”?

(sighs) Do you want it or not?

I haven’t got all night.

Yeah, neither do I.

(panting)

Sandy’s drill!

SpongeBob?!

Oh, hi!

I was just making sure

you have all your hardware.

That’s an unusual getup.

Ooh, I thought I’d be

a little festive,

you know,

for the scientists.

And the birthday cake?

Uh… (laughs nervously)

Greetings,

my distinguished colleagues.

Tonight you will witness

an invention so revolutionary

it may change modern science

forever.

Now to demonstrate,

my assistant here

will disrobe

and enter the machine.

What?

Some of you

may be wondering

why the test subject

is disrobing.

It’s because…

What’s under your gown?

Oh, it must be that spicy kelp

I ate earlier.

I gotta use

the lavoratory.

I’ll be right Pat.

Um, back, back.

I’ll be right…

(chuckles)

Happy birthday!

(gasps)

You finally made it!

(chuckles nervously)

Big traffic storm.

Well, just leave my present

over on the present table.

Your present?

I’m so excited!

I’ve been waiting

for a whole year!

I’ve got it.

It’s right there.

Ta-da! All wrapped up

and ready to go.

Well, what are you

waiting for, buddy?

Serve up the cake,

so I can tear into

that present!

The cake! I must have

left it at Sandy’s!

You took it

to Sandy’s?

No! I said,

“The bakery delivers.

Isn’t that handy?”

In fact, I think

I hear them outside.

Wait right there

while I go check.

(panting)

SpongeBob!

Barnacles!

I apologize

for the delay.

Now let’s continue

the demonstration.

I give you…

the Proto Generator 2000!

This device gives a single

laborer the productivity

of five, six, seven,

up to eight workers,

which is great for management,

but it’s also a boon

for the worker

because they’ll always get

high marks

on their employee

report card.

I was just looking

at your employee

report card…

(gasps)

The telescope!

Without further delay, I shall

initiate Proto’s sequence.

Uh, Sandy, I hate to delay

the proceedings,

but, uh, I forgot to mail in

this mail-in rebate, and, uh,

I’ll be right back.

Okay, let’s get started,

Mr. Krabs.

What happened to your

clothes, boy?

Uh, sardines.

Yeah, I was attacked

by a can of wild sardines.

Now let’s finish

this telescope.

Boy?

Hold on, boy.

You’re supposed

to be using

that motorized hex drill.

Where is it?

I left it at Patrick’s rock!

Patrick’s rock?

What’s it doing there?

SpongeBob, wait!

Get back here, boy!

(panting)

SpongeBob, why are your clothes

invisible?

Never mind that.

Can I please borrow

your present?

No! No!

No, you can’t borrow

my birthday present!

Not even for a minute?

No, not until they deliver

my birthday cake!

Okay, I’ll be

right back.

Hold on!

Where are you going?!

I’m here! (gasping)

Hold it!

Where’s my little assistant

going this time?

Your little assistant?

That’s my assistant

you’re talking to.

What’s goin’ on around here?

Yeah, I’d like

to know also.

What kind of birthday

present is this?

Hey, SpongeBob was supposed

to bring that to me.

That looks like

my power drill.

You’ve got a lot

of explaining

to do, mister.

(all clamoring)

I’ve got something to say.

I have got something to say!

(all gasp)

I know you all had important

things going on tonight:

Mr. Krabs, with your telescope,

Patrick, your birthday

and Sandy, you have

this big presentation.

I just couldn’t say no

to any of you.

Aw, you overextended

yourself.

Yeah, you should

have said something.

We could have

worked something out.

Aw, you know,

you guys are right.

It was silly to think I could

be in three places at once.

Nonsense, SpongeBob,

of course you can.

If you’ll just step into

the Proto Generator 2000.

First, I close

the Proto chamber.

And finally…

(rumbling, beeping)

Oh!

As you can see I’ve produced

two clones of my subject

which will allow him

to honor all the commitments

he’s made this evening.

(all cheering)

Did you hear that,

SpongeBob?

You can be in three

places at once now.

(snoring)

Episode Transcript: No Hat for Pat (SpongeBob SquarePants) (transcript) (7/19/2009) [Closed Captioning][]

NO HAT

FOR PAT

storyboard directors

Casey Alexander

Zeus Cervas

written by

Casey Alexander

Zeus Cervas

Dani Michaeli

creative director

Vincent Waller

animation director

Tom Yasumi

supervising producer

Paul Tibbitt

(snoring)

Whoa.

(grunting)

(groans) Patrick!

Uh…

What are you doing

out here, silly?

I’m waiting for you,

so we can

play the day away!

Aw, barnacles.

You’re wearing

that dumb hat again.

Every time you wear

that stupid thing,

you’re-you’re gone

for the whole day.

That’s because

this is my work hat, Patrick.

I have to wear it

when I go to work.

Well, why don’t you

just take it off,

so you don’t have

to go to work today?

(laughing)

(groans) I’m afraid it doesn’t

work that way, buddy.

I hate that hat!

(laughing)

Fine! Have it

your way, hat!

Looks like Squidward

has time to play.

Hey, Squidward!

What?

Oh, no!

He’s got the hat, too!

Don’t worry, Patrick. I’ll

be back from work at 6:00.

We can play then.

Oh.

I’ll show you,

SpongeBob!

I’ll get a job!

And a hat!

Whoa, whoa!

That’s enough, lad!

What do you think,

I’m made of ketchup?

Now, run along, boy.

(shutters clicking)

Eh?

That sounds like…

a band of roving tourists!

(shutters clicking, murmuring)

Wait! Come back!

Don't you want

to give me your money?

(sighs)

They're a slippery bunch.

What do I got to do

to catch them?

Stand around

out here all day?

What are you doing

there, Patrick?

Standing around

out here all day.

(bell rings)

(chimes glistening,

shutters clicking))

How would you like

a job, Patrick?

Oh, boy!

Give me my hat!

You'll get your hat,

but first you have to entice

people into the restaurant

by standing right here

and holding this sign.

That's not too tough

for you, is it, boy?

Sounds complicated.

But if it gets me

a work hat...

How's this?

Perfect! You'll be wearing

that hat in no time at all.

Oh, boy!

(laughing)

What's shaking, Mr. K?

Your buddy Patrick.

I hired him to stand out

there and hold that sign.

Oh. He is good.

And look.

He's about to reel in

his first customer.

Can you direct me to

the Krusty Krab, please?

Uh...

What does he

think he's doing?

They're walking

right past him!

Patrick, you need to get

their attention, boy.

Ouch. Okay.

That ain't the kind

of attention we need.

Why don't you show a

little razzle dazzle?

Maybe give the sign a

little twirl or something.

Oh...

(gasps)

Guess we'll keep

working on that one.

Eh, boy? And listen.

If any tourists stroll by, why

don't you just blow 'em away

with a little extra twirl?

Anything for my new hat.

(shutters clicking, murmuring)

(sign buzzing)

(moaning)

(screams)

That's enough,

Patrick.

(screaming)

I did it!

Did you see that, Mr. Krabs?

I saw it.

Do I get my hat now?

What the heck?

It pays to advertise.

My hat.

Uh...

What's wrong with him?

What's the

matter, Patrick?

I don't know.

Sometimes when I'm nervous,

I forget how to stand.

He's nervous.

(laughing)

Look at that guy.

He doesn't know how to stand

on his own two feet.

(laughing)

Now, that's the kind

of mindlessness

I'd pay money to see.

You mean,

cash money?

Well, heck yeah. $5.00, please.

All right!

There's that sound again.

(shutters clicking)

(all laughing)

They're loving it!

Patrick, you captured

the attention

of all these tourists

with your

ridiculous flapdoodle.

I did?

That's right.

I think we finally found

a job you're good at--

being an absolute buffoon.

If it's folly you crave,

it can be found exclusively

at the Krusty Krab!

For just $5.00 a head.

(cash register rings)

(laughing)

It's official.

(laughing)

I hate everyone.

(all laughing

You imbeciles think

that's entertainment?

Well, brace yourselves

for some true entertainment.

(playing)

Yeah? Patrick?

I'm fine. Are you okay?

(playing continues,

customers booing)

Oh, oh, that

horrible noise!

Let's get out of here!

What the barnacles

is going on out here?

I'm entertaining

these heathens.

We got all the entertainment

we need, thank you very much.

Where'd he go?

Come on, Patrick.

Easy, now.

Right this way.

What in the name of

Neptune is going on here?

Patrick had a

bloody nose.

So I was going

to walk him home.

Oh, a bloody nose, eh?

You think I was born yesterday?

He doesn't even have a nose.

Now, get back to work,

the all of yas.

I'm not running

a happy factory here.

Keep up the good work,

Patrick.

You got it, Mr. K.

NARRATOR:

7 HOURS

LATER...

That guy's

still flopping?

Yeah. Amazing,

isn't it?

Doesn't

that get old.

Um...

He's got a point.

Yeah.

You seen enough?

Yeah. Let's get

out of here.

Me, too.

I'm out.

What? Wait. Don't go.

Why you leaving?

This guy's act is stale.

We crave excitement!

(all muttering)

Okay, okay. You

want excitement?

What if I added a box?

Huh? Huh?

Sort of the

same, really. Yeah.

Oh. Okay.

Uh, so, what if he

flopped from two boxes?

Uh...

Into a cream pie?

I like pie.

Say, now.

That I'd pay to see.

Thank you. thank you.

thank you, thank you.

(moaning)

Okay, boy.

Let ‘er rip!

(all cheer)

I’ll be in the back,

counting me money.

If the crowd gets bored,

add some more boxes.

Whatever.

Hey, Hat Man.

How you feeling after

your first day on the job?

I feel like a million bucks.

Patrick! Patrick,

are you all right?

Say something.

(murmuring indistinctly)

Okay, that’s it! No

best friend of mine

is going to suffer

permanent brain trauma

just so Mr. Krabs can

make a quick buck!

I’m going to go have a

talk with him right--

No! P-Please!

Don’t tell Mr. Krabs!

You don’t understand.

For years,

people have been telling me,

“You’re no good.”

Now I’m good!

I have a hat to prove it.

I don’t want to go back

to being No-Hat Patrick.

(sobbing) Okay, buddy.

I understand.

Just promise

me one thing.

What’s that, pal?

Just be careful, hmm?

Thanks, pal.

I’m worried about Patrick.

I’m not sure

his new job is good for him.

See the part time

minimum wage employee

fall from high atop this tower

into this bucket

of spiny sea urchins!

This should

be good.

Patrick!

Hi, SpongeBob.

Mr. Krabs, you can’t

let him do this.

He might get hurt.

Oh, it’s okay, boy.

He signed a waiver.

Is he ready,

Mr. Squidward?

(groaning)

Ready.

Okay.

Step back, boy.

You wouldn’t want to

stain your uniform.

Hey, good idea.

Hey, Squidward,

could you hold my hat,

so it won’t get hurt?

Thanks, buddy.

Ready, Patrick?

Ready!

Oh, I can’t watch!

(sobs hysterically)

(blows nose forcefully)

Hey! Ew.

(board creaking)

Come on, Patrick. We’ve got

a perfectly good bucket

of spiny sea urchins

down here.

I’m trying.

(board creaking,

Patrick groans)

I think I’m stuck!

Stuck? Well,

if that don’t beat all.

What’s the hold up,

Mr. Squidward?

Don’t look at me. I’m

just here to hold his hat.

Patrick, why have

you stopped falling?

I don’t know, Mr. Krabs.

Well, you better

figure it out.

These people

paid good money

for a floor show full

of pain and humiliation.

Now, make with

the codswallop, pal.

Uh-huh. Understand?

Don’t make me

come back here.

Hey, Squidward?

Do you think you could,

uh, you know…

You want me to push you

off of your precarious perch

into a bucket

of spiny sea urchins?

Oh, if only you were SpongeBob.

Okay, I’ll do it.

(screaming)

(grunts)

Thanks, Squidward.

(Squidward screaming)

Oh, my hat! Gotcha!

Oh, right back where you belong!

(Patrick and Squidward

screaming)

Great! We get to see two

for the price of one.

I don’t think so.

Fine. Thank you.

(screaming)

Look, Squidward,

I’m falling!

Oh, I’m so happy for you.

I figured it out.

It’s that hat that

makes me fall.

It-It makes

me top-heavy.

(screaming, crashing)

(squishing)

So, it was your hat that was

making you fall the whole time.

I paid to see

two guys get maimed.

Yeah, I want a refund.

Sorry. Absolutely no refunds.

Hey, hey. Hold on there.

What’s the big idea?

Whoa! Whoa! You’re crazy!

(Mr. Krabs

shouting indistinctly)

Mama!

(screams)

All right.

You leave me no choice.

You’re giving me a raise?

Not even close.

You’re fired.

As long

as I’m still standing,

you’ll never wear

this hat again.

Patrick, you okay? (sobbing)

Well, I guess it’s back

to being No-Hat Pat.

NARRATOR:

EPiLOGUE

It’s okay, Patrick.

Not everyone is equipped

to bear the awesome weight

of responsibility

that a uniform

hat represents.

But you can wear mine

any time you want.

Really?

Sure thing, pal.

Thanks, SpongeBob.

You’re the best.

Any time, pal.

Any time.

Episode Transcript: Toy Store of Doom (SpongeBob SquarePants) (transcript) (3/17/2009) [Closed Captioning][]

ToY StoRe

oF DoOm

storyboard directors

Luke Brookshier

Nate Cash

written by

Luke Brookshier

Nate Cash

Dani Michaeli

creative director

Vincent Waller

animation director

Andrew Overtoom

supervising producer

Paul Tibbitt

(sighs)

Patrick.

Yeah?

What do you want

to do today?

I don’t know.

I guess we could

play something.

How about a yo...

No.

...yo?

Buried treasure board game?

Nah.

Mama. Dollies?

Hmm... nope.

No.

Nope.

Uh-uh.

No. No.

Hello. How about this?

Uh-uh.

Hey, we could play with

our Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy

action figures.

Ew, Barnacle Boy's

all chewed up.

And slimy.

(noisy chewing)

Yeah, that'll happen.

Oh, there is just

nothing to play with.

There's got to be something

we could do.

(humming tune)

Hey, what are you

doing in my house?!

Hi, Squidward. Can you think

of anything fun we could do?

Get out!

Yeah, we thought

of that one.

I believe this pile

belongs to you.

Where we going

now, boys?

Aw.

(sighs)

I'm so bored.

There's got to be

something we can do!

(helicopter approaching)

IT'S

COMING!

BOTH:

"It's coming."

Oh... Oh...

boy! boy!

It's coming.

It's coming It's coming.

It's coming.

PATRICK:

"Almost there."

ALMOST

THERE!

We're almost there. We're almost there.

PATRICK:

"Here it is."

HERE

iT iS!

SPONGEBOB:

"Welcome to

Bikini Bottom's newest..."

Welcome To

BiKiNi

BOTTOM'S

NEWEST...

"Toy store"?

...TOY

STORE!

Oh!

Oh, yeah!

Yeah!

(both cheering)

THE

TOY

BARREL

OPEN

SOON!

Well, we're here.

PATRICK:

But where's

the toy store?

Well, I guess it's

not open yet.

Not... open?

(sobbing)

(both sobbing)

What are you crying about?

We wanted to go to the toy

store, but it's not open yet.

Well, it's open now.

Look.

See?

Feel better now? Mm-hmm.

Then quit your crying

and get in there!

(loud crash)

I got it.

Patrick. Patrick, get up.

No thanks. I'm

good down here.

Look.

(toy train whistle blowing)

Oh. Wow.

Patrick, look at that.

Wow.

Can I help you?

That depends.

Tell me, do you like

to... ♪ sing ♪?

Oh, no.

(clearing throat)

(playing note)

(loud inhale)

♪ La... ♪

SEVERAL

SONG FiLLED

HOURS LATER...

♪ Toys, glorious toys ♪

♪ La-la-la, toys. ♪

Yeah.

Hey, Patrick.

Hey, SpongeBob.

What's with the tutu?

It's not a tutu.

It's a mantu.

You can tell

because it has...

(deep voice):

...extra support.

(normal voice):

I got the last one.

Uh-huh.

(grunting)

(crash, scream)

What a great day.

I hope it never ends.

Never.

Attention, shoppers,

the store is now closed.

Please exit immediately.

(crying)

I don't want to go!

Dad, I want it!

No!

(grunting)

Aw, the store's closing.

We'll have to leave now.

What part of "never"

don't you understand?

Patrick, we have to leave.

I'm not moving.

But they'll just come

and kick us out.

Not if we hide.

Hide? Isn't that

kind of sneaky?

Uh-huh.

It's sneaky all right.

Really sneaky.

Come on.

Haven't you always wanted

to have a toy store

all to yourself?

No.

But I do now.

What'll we do first?

We need to find a hiding spot

where they'll never find us.

And I know just the place.

(sniffs)

(growling)

Come on, boy.

Let's go.

The store's empty,

so go ahead and lock her up,

Frank.

My name is Steve.

Whatever floats

your boat, Frank.

The coast is clear.

Push, SpongeBob, push.

(grunting)

Push, man, push!

(yells)

Oh, oh...

Okay, SpongeBob,

give me your hand.

That's my boy.

Brace yourself.

(grunting)

Thanks, pal.

Well, we did it.

Yay!

Oh, this is so awesome.

Nothing can ruin it...

(both screaming)

(screaming)

Patrick, is that you?

What?

I said is that you?

I can't hear you.

It's too dark in here.

Don't worry, I'll just

use my night vision.

You have night vision?

Yeah.

How long have you had that?

Remember that flashlight

I stuck in my ear?

Oh, yeah.

Well, I guess it worked its way

into my brain.

(electrical crackling)

Shoot, the batteries are dead.

Oh, it's dark.

It's scary.

(sobbing)

Calm down, buddy.

We just need to find

the light switch.

But you have to let me

down first.

Yeah, right, SpongeBob.

I let you down,

we find the light switch

and everything turns out peachy.

Yes.

Look around you, SpongeBob.

We're surrounded!

By toys?

That... want...

to... get us.

(yells)

(screaming)

(both whimpering)

(loud bang)

(footsteps)

(screaming)

(screaming and crying)

(laughing)

(groaning)

(gasping)

Are we gonna hide in here

for the rest of our lives?

No.

Are we going to

the ladies' room again?

No, we're going

to fight back.

And we are going to win.

That was fun.

Now let's dress up

like fairy princesses.

(thudding footsteps)

(both growling)

Ready, Patrick?

Let's get some.

(screaming)

Nothing can stop it! Nothing can stop it!

It was nice knowing you, pal.

I know.

I'm an interesting guy.

(toy squawks)

(both sigh)

No, Patrick, don't!

What?

(both scream)

(cheering)

(sighs)

The Toy Barrel is now

open for business.

Prepare for more fun

than you've ever had.

(cheering)

(screaming)

My eyes!

With Neptune as my witness,

may you never experience

the unholy terrors

that are inside that store.

Hey, they're open!

I love toys!

Credits: SpongeBob SquarePants: SpongeBob’s Last Stand DVD[]

SPONGEBOB’S

LAST

STAND

PET

or

PESTS

KOMPUTER

OVERLOAD

GuLLibLe

Pants

EXECUTiVE PRODUCER

Stephen Hillenburg

EXECUTiVE PRODUCER

Paul Tibbitt

ANiMATiON PRODUCER

Dina Buteyn

PRODUCTION MANAGER

Jennie Monica Hammond

ART DiRECTOR

Peter Bennett

SUPERViSiNG DiRECTOR

Alan Smart

STORY EDiTOR

Steven Banks

WRiTERS

Derek Iversen

Dani Michaeli

Richard Pursel

Paul Tibbitt

OVERBOOKED

NO HAT

FOR PAT

ToY StoRe

oF DoOm

United Plankton

Pictures inc.

nickelodeon

Nickelodeon, SpongeBob SquarePants and all related titles, logos and

characters are trademarks of Viacom International Inc.