Valentine’s Day (SpongeBob SquarePants) (transcript) (2/14/2000)

Premiered: Monday, February 14, 2000

Episode Transcript [Closed Captioning][]

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ ❤️❤️❤️❤️ ❤️❤️❤️❤️ ❤️❤️❤️❤️ ❤️❤️❤️❤️ ❤️❤️❤️❤️

VaLeNtiNe’S

DaY

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ ❤️❤️❤️❤️ ❤️❤️❤️❤️ ❤️❤️❤️❤️ ❤️❤️❤️❤️ ❤️❤️❤️❤️

storyboard director

Chuck Klein

storyboard artist

Jay Lender

written by

Chuck Klein

Jay Lender

Merriwether Williams

animation director

Fred Miller

creative director

Derek Drymon

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Happy Valentine’s Day,

Bikini Bottom!

Happy Valentine’s Day,

Bikini Bottom!

Happy Valentine’s Day,

Bikini Bottom!

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

❤️❤️❤️❤️

❤️❤️❤️

❤️❤️

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

❤️❤️❤️❤️

❤️❤️❤️❤️ ❤️❤️❤️❤️

❤️❤️ ❤️❤️

❤️❤️❤️❤️

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

❤️❤️❤️

( crash )

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

❤️❤️❤️❤️

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ ❤️❤️❤️

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ ❤️

🧽🧽🧽🧽🧽🧽🧽🧽🧽🧽🧽🧽🧽🧽🧽🧽🧽

🧽🧽🧽🧽🧽🧽🧽🧽🧽🧽🧽🧽🧽🧽🧽

🧽🧽🧽🧽🧽🧽🧽🧽🧽🧽🧽🧽🧽🧽

🧽🧽🧽🧽🧽

🧽🧽🧽🧽

Happy Valentine’s Day,

SpongeBob.

Happy Valentine’s Day,

SpongeBob.

Happy Valentine’s Day,

SpongeBob.

I’m nuts for you.

Well, I’m bubbles

for you, Sandy.

Well, I’m bubbles

for you, Sandy.

CHoCO

SyRu

Well, I’m bubbles

for you, Sandy.

CHoCOLATE

SYRUP

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Mmm, chocolate.

Mighty tasty.

Patrick’s going to love

the one you made for him.

Patrick’s going to love

the one you made for him.

Patrick’s going to love

the one you made for him.

Patrick’s going to love

the one you made for him.

Patrick’s going to love

the one you made for him.

Patrick’s going to love

the one you made for him.

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

⭐⭐⭐⭐

Take me through

the plan again.

Take me through

the plan again.

Okay.

Step one: Patrick and I get to

the Valentine’s Day carnival.

Step one: Patrick and I get to

the Valentine’s Day carnival.

Step two: I position

Patrick and myself

on top of the Ferris wheel.

Step two: I position

Patrick and myself

on top of the Ferris wheel.

Step two: I position

Patrick and myself

on top of the Ferris wheel.

Step two: I position

Patrick and myself

on top of the Ferris wheel.

Step two: I position

Patrick and myself

on top of the Ferris wheel.

Step three: you arrive

at designated checkpoint

for maximum visual contact.

Step three: you arrive

at designated checkpoint

for maximum visual contact.

Step three: you arrive

at designated checkpoint

for maximum visual contact.

Step three: you arrive

at designated checkpoint

for maximum visual contact.

Step four: Patrick is thrilled.

Mission accomplished.

( grunting… )

Hi, Patrick.

Hello?

Patrick,

it’s me, SpongeBob.

Patrick,

it’s me, SpongeBob.

Patrick,

it’s me, SpongeBob.

SpongeBob, what are you

doing in there?

SpongeBob, what are you

doing in there?

Patrick!

Oh, my gosh! Sponge…

SpongeBob is stuck

inside this rock.

SpongeBob is stuck

inside this rock.

SpongeBob is stuck

inside this rock.

SpongeBob is stuck

inside this rock.

SpongeBob is stuck

inside this rock.

SpongeBob is stuck

inside this rock.

Oh, hold on, buddy!

I’ll get you out!

SpongeBob?

Patrick!

SpongeBob!

( weeping ):

SpongeBob…!

( weeping ):

SpongeBob…!

Patrick, I’m right

behind you.

Patrick, I’m right

behind you.

There you are.

Happy Valentine’s Day.

Here’s your present.

And I have a present for you.

You do?

It’s the greatest…

Oh…!

The bestest…

Oh…!

The most fantabulous…

Oh…!

…present ever!

Oh… ooh… oh…!

But you can’t

have it yet.

But you can’t

have it yet.

Huh? Why not?

‘Cause it’s not ready yet.

Is it ready now?

Not yet.

Is it ready now?

Not yet.

Is it ready now?

Not yet.

How about now?

Do you want to

ruin the surprise?

Do you want to

ruin the surprise?

Do you want to

ruin the surprise?

Do you want to

ruin the surprise?

Yes!

Uh-uh-uh.

Come on, please.

Hmm…

nope, sorry.

You got to tell me!

No can do. ( laughs )

You’ll just have to wait.

Please…!

Oh, please, please.

Please, please, please.

Tell me, tell me, tell me…

please!

Tell me, tell me, tell me…

please!

Okay, Patrick,

here we are.

Okay, Patrick,

here we are.

Okay, Patrick,

here we are.

( gasps ):

You got me a carnival?!

( gasps ):

You got me a carnival?!

( gasps ):

You got me a carnival?!

( gasps ):

You got me a carnival?!

❤️VALENTiNE’S DAY❤️

❤️ CARNiVAL ❤️

( gasps ):

You got me a carnival?!

Mine!

All mine, mine, mine.

Mine, mine, mine.

All right, everybody out!

❤️❤️❤️

❤️❤️❤️ VALENTiNE’S DAY ❤️❤️❤️

❤️❤️❤️ CARNiVAL ❤️❤️❤️

❤️❤️❤️ ❤️❤️❤️

This is my carnival!

It’s not the carnival.

❤️❤️❤️

❤️❤️❤️ VALENTiNE’S DAY ❤️❤️❤️

❤️❤️❤️ CARNiVAL ❤️❤️❤️

❤️❤️❤️ ❤️❤️❤️

Oh.

Here, why don’t you

take this quarter and…

Here, why don’t you

take this quarter and…

25¢❤️❤️❤️ CAR

Oh, my gosh, a quarter!

25¢

I’ve always wanted a quarter.

It’s not the quarter.

Oh.

Now, take that quarter

and buy some cotton candy.

Cotton candy,

I can’t believe it!

Cotton candy,

I can’t believe it!

ALENT S DAY❤️❤️

ARN VAL ❤️❤️

Cotton candy!

MAN:

Get away!

MAN:

Get away!

❤️❤️❤️

❤️❤️❤️VALENTiNE’S DAY❤️❤️❤️

❤️❤️❤️ CARNiVAL ❤️❤️❤️

COTTON

  CaNDY

Sandy to SpongeBob…

Sandy to SpongeBob.

Come in, SpongeBob.

Ten-four, Sandy, SpongeBob here.

I got a visual on the carnival.

You want me to bring her in?

Oh, net yet, Sandy.

Patrick’s still trying to guess

what his valentine is.

Patrick’s still trying to guess

what his valentine is.

Patrick’s still trying to guess

what his valentine is.

You are such a kidder.

Sandy out.

You are such a kidder.

Sandy out.

You are such a kidder.

Sandy out.

That SpongeBob.

( clattering )

Scallops.

Chocolate-eating scallops!

So, if it’s not

cotton candy,

then what is it?

So, if it’s not

cotton candy,

then what is it?

So, if it’s not

cotton candy,

then what is it?

So, if it’s not

cotton candy,

then what is it?

I can’t take it!

You’ll have to guess.

This tent.

ToSS❤️A❤️GLAS MADAME

FiSHY

Fortune

Teller

No.

This guy?

AMAZING

SeA MoNkEY

❤️❤️

❤️❤️ HEART—A—WHiRL ❤️❤️

No.

This paramecium?

( laughs ) Nope.

( chuckles )

You’re a sly one.

❤️❤️❤️

❤️❤️❤️ VALENTiNE’S DAY ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

❤️❤️❤️ CARNiVAL ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

❤️❤️❤️ ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

I can’t find it

here in the carnival

I can’t find it

here in the carnival

I can’t find it

here in the carnival

I can’t find it

here in the carnival

I can’t find it

here in the carnival

because it’s on top

of mount climb-up-

and-fall-off!

❤️❤️❤️

❤️❤️❤️ VALENTiNE’S DAY ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

❤️❤️❤️ CARNiVAL ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

❤️❤️❤️ ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

( panting… )

( screams )

❤️❤️❤️

❤️❤️❤️ VALENTiNE’S DAY ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

❤️❤️❤️ CARNiVAL ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

❤️❤️❤️ ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

( screams )

It wasn’t there,

either.

❤️❤️❤️

❤️❤️❤️ VALENTiNE’S DAY ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

❤️❤️❤️ CARNiVAL ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

❤️❤️❤️ ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Are you sure?

Uh…

( panting )

Sandy to SpongeBob.

SpongeBob to Sandy.

You can bring it in now.

SpongeBob, we’ve got ourselves

a little problem.

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

I got a pack of

chocolate-eating scallops

trying to rustle the balloon.

I got a pack of

chocolate-eating scallops

trying to rustle the balloon.

I got a pack of

chocolate-eating scallops

trying to rustle the balloon.

Get away,

you sweet-toothed varmints!

Get away,

you sweet-toothed varmints!

Get away,

you sweet-toothed varmints!

Get away,

you sweet-toothed varmints!

( yelling )

I’m going to be a little late.

Late?

But what about…

( screams )

❤️❤️❤️

❤️❤️❤️ VALENTiNE’S DAY ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

❤️❤️❤️ CARNiVAL ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

❤️❤️❤️ ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Patrick?

( yelling )

Take him up

to the Ferris wheel

Take him up

to the Ferris wheel

and I’ll meet you there.

Sandy out. ( yelling )

If Patrick doesn’t get

his valentine…

I’m pretty sure it’s not up

there, SpongeBob!

( screams )

I’m pretty sure it’s not up

there, SpongeBob!

( screams )

Patrick, Actually

it’s on the Ferris…

Patrick, Actually

it’s on the Ferris…

Patrick, Actually

it’s on the Ferris…

Patrick, Actually

it’s on the Ferris…

Patrick, Actually

it’s on the Ferris…

Ferris wheel!

❤️❤️❤️

❤️❤️❤️ VALENTiNE’S DAY ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

❤️❤️❤️ CARNiVAL ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

❤️❤️❤️ ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

( panting… )

I’m ready for the greatest

valentine present

I’m ready for the greatest

valentine present

I’m ready for the greatest

valentine present

in the whole world now,

SpongeBob.

Well, this is where

you’re going to get it…

I hope.

Well, this is where

you’re going to get it…

I hope.

Just keep looking

out there, pal.

Oh… ooh…

SpongeBob to Sandy,

SpongeBob to Sandy.

SpongeBob to Sandy,

SpongeBob to Sandy.

SpongeBob to Sandy,

SpongeBob to Sandy.

Come in, Sandy.

Sandy to SpongeBob.

⭐⭐⭐⭐

⭐⭐⭐

I got my ox in a hitch here.

I’m way off course.

( yelling )

The scallops are

eating the balloon!

The scallops are

eating the balloon!

The scallops are

eating the balloon!

( yelling )

They’re everywhere!

Huh?

Oh, shoot!

We’re going down, SpongeBob.

Switch to plan b.

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

⭐⭐⭐⭐

Switch to plan b.

No b, Sandy, no b. No!

Oh…

Uh, Patrick,

you know how

Uh, Patrick,

you know how

sometimes you plan

something special

and things just

don’t work out?

and things just

don’t work out?

No, no… oh, gee…

Oh, holy mackerel.

Is it hot up here

or what?!

Is it hot up here

or what?!

Valentine, valentine…

Huh? No…

no, Patrick!

PATRICK:

Valentine, valentine,

valentine…

PATRICK:

Valentine, valentine,

valentine…

valentine, valentine…

Patrick, don’t!

( grunting and yelling )

Patrick! Here it is!

What’s that?

A handshake,

a friendly handshake.

A handshake,

a friendly handshake.

A handshake,

a friendly handshake.

A handshake,

a friendly handshake.

A handshake?

That’s the big gift?

You got me a handshake?

A friendly handshake.

Happy Valentine’s Day!

( laughs nervously )

❤️❤️❤️

BUDDY

BoUNCE

❤️ ❤️ ❤️

FUN

HOUSE

❤️❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️

( sighs deeply )

I’ve been thinking.

At first a handshake

doesn’t seem like much

but… really it’s

the thought that counts.

but… really it’s

the thought that counts.

Hey, SpongeBob,

I just wanted to thank you

for this box of chocolates.

Hey, SpongeBob,

I just wanted to thank you

for this box of chocolates.

Hey, SpongeBob,

I just wanted to thank you

for this box of chocolates.

Hey, SpongeBob,

I just wanted to thank you

for this box of chocolates.

Hey, SpongeBob,

I just wanted to thank you

for this box of chocolates.

Uh, no problem, Fran.

I mean, even though

I was expecting more…

I mean, even though

I was expecting more…

Thanks for the roses,

SpongeBob.

Happy Valentine’s Day.

You too, Dave.

Not that it matters that we’ve

been friends for so long…

Hey, SpongeBob,

thanks for

the bike.

Hey, SpongeBob,

thanks for

the bike.

Hey, SpongeBob,

thanks for

the bike.

Hey, SpongeBob,

thanks for

the bike.

Can you believe

this guy?

I just met him

this morning.

I just met him

this morning.

I just met him

this morning.

I just met him

this morning.

So, as I was saying…

Excuse me, do you guys

have the time?

( screaming )

Ooh, Patrick

needs love, too!

Ooh, Patrick

needs love, too!

Ooh…!

( panting, yelling

and screaming… )

( panting, yelling

and screaming… )

( panting, yelling

and screaming… )

BALLoONS

( yelling )

I defy you, heart man!

( screaming )

Attention, everyone.

There’s a chubby pink starfish

on the loose!

There’s a chubby pink starfish

on the loose!

There’s a chubby pink starfish

on the loose!

There’s a chubby pink starfish

on the loose!

( all screaming )

( gibbering… )

Heart on stick must die!

( screaming )

( grunting and screaming… )

( panting… )

Heart on stick must die!

( screaming )

( munching )

( gasps ) Patrick!

( gibbering )

( all scream )

( howling )

Give me SpongeBob!

( laughs nervously )

You broke my heart!

Now I’m going to break

something of yours!

Now I’m going to break

something of yours!

Now I’m going to break

something of yours!

Okay, Patrick, I know

I deserve this, but do they?

Okay, Patrick, I know

I deserve this, but do they?

They didn’t get me

anything, either.

Nope, it’s too late

for that now…

Nope, it’s too late

for that now…

Nope, it’s too late

for that now…

for all of you.

( growling… )

( screaming )

Hee-ha!

Get along, little shellfish.

Giddap, you scallops!

SPONGEBOB:

Yeah, Sandy’s here!

Whoo-hoo! Look, Patrick,

it’s here! It’s here!

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

Whoo-hoo! Look, Patrick,

it’s here! It’s here!

The best valentine in the whole

wide world is right behind you!

Sure it is.

I’m telling you it’s

right there. Turn around!

I’m telling you it’s

right there. Turn around!

I’m telling you it’s

right there. Turn around!

Uh-uh.

Patrick, turn around.

ALL:

Turn around!

MAN:

Hey, nincompoop,

turn around!

You must think

I’m pretty dumb, huh?

You must think

I’m pretty dumb, huh?

You must think

I’m pretty dumb, huh?

CROWD:

Yes! Turn around!

No.

( chanting ):

Turn around, turn around.

Nuh-uh.

I’m going to say this once

and I’m not going to say it

again, so pay attention.

I am not, I repeat

not going to turn around

for any reason ever.

not going to turn around

for any reason ever.

not going to turn around

for any reason ever.

SANDY:

Howdy, Patrick!

Hi, Sandy. ( gasps )

( mumbling… )

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

( mumbling… )

Happy Valentine’s

Day, Patrick.

Yay!

Yay! My valentine!

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

Hey, is this solid chocolate?

Patrick, no!

( chomp, explosion )

PATRICK:

Oh, SpongeBob…

you didn’t have to

get me anything.

Home Video Releases

SpongeBob SquarePants: Bikini Bottom Bash VHS (January 28th, 2003)

SpongeBob SquarePants: Tales from the Deep DVD (January 28th, 2003)

SpongeBob SquarePants: The Complete 1st Season DVD (Disc 2) (October 28th, 2003)

SpongeBob SquarePants: The First 100 Episodes DVD (Disc 2) (Season 1) (September 22nd, 2009)